Tag Archives: family

I Fail As A Mom- Do You?

23 Monday Dec 2019

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Do you ever browse social media only to be met by a myriad of posts portraying perfectly baked cookies, clean houses, and smiling families only to look around at your own burned cookies, floors that needed mopped ages ago and kids wrestling in the living room because someone has the remote and someone else wants it and you question every bit of your worth?

Image by Markus Spiske from Pixabay

Listen, I want you to know right  now that sometimes my house only appears clean because I angled the camera just right.

And my cookies usually turn out pretty good but I admit that at some point I burn a pan every single time I bake. It’s almost laughable.

The truth is- when I get on social media I can always find a reason to beat myself up as a mom, friend, wife…

Just looking at all the posts of holiday decorations and cookie platters I start to feel a bit unworthy of the season. I had good intentions too but the Christmas tree skirt is missing this year and so is the angel for the top so my tree is slightly naked. I’ve decided to just concentrate on the middle and not look at the rest.

The truth is comparison always leads to dwindling self esteem and negative self worth.

Image by Sabrina Ripke from Pixabay

I’m not a good mom because I didn’t bake cookies with my kids and I didn’t build a snowman when we had the latest storm like all the other moms on social media did.

There are a lot of I didn’ts in my life…  

If I’m being totally honest sometimes I’m not a good mom at all. Some days I really do stink at this job.

The reality is we all do. We all wake up and fail miserably. We all forget to put food in our kindergartners lunch pail, we forget the costume for the Halloween parade, we forget… but we don’t give up. That’s what makes us great. It’s not that we keep up with the neighbors or that we get on social media and remind ourselves of all that we “should” be doing to be awesome.

Instead it’s those little sleeping faces that we kiss on the cheek after a hard day and the smiles they give us when they wake up in the morning. It’s the giggling about the dinner that didn’t turn out and the pizza that was ordered instead.

It’s the mess that makes the memories.

Image by Aline Ponce from Pixabay

This weekend my son was in the hospital. Apparently he, like his brothers before him, can’t stand the sight of blood. We learned this the hard way when he cut his finger at school and then took a header onto the hard floor.

This lovely minute of time turned into an overnight hospital stay and a long road of recovery for this kid. Concussions are no joke.

He apologized over and over to me. He knew that I had other plans this weekend and a hospital stay was not one of them. But as we talked I told him this- I don’t remember much about the past few weekends and yes I would never choose for him to be hurt, but this weekend, as we lay in that dark hospital room will be one we talk about for years. We will harass him, we will pick on him, we will remember this.

And he will remember that I slept on a really horrible cold couch next to him all night. He will remember that his dad ran to the store for comfy clothes for him to wear, stayed late with us and returned early because he couldn’t stand to be away. We will remember that dad complained about what a rough night it was because the dog kept him up and how we must have had a much better night than him and how he may need us to rub his feet… (insert laughter and a HUGE NO here)

Image by silviarita from Pixabay

Being a good mom has nothing to do with cookies, crafts, vacations, or smiley family pictures. Being a good mom has everything to do with just being there. That’s it. There isn’t a formula, there isn’t a list that has to be completed. It’s just doing your best and loving them through it all.

Stop comparing yourself, stop failing because you don’t look like the perfect facebook family.

Instead, burn the cookies, mess up the crafts and learn to laugh. Be the mom that smiles not the mom that poses for perfect pictures.

Comparison is a thief of our joy.

God didn’t make a mistake, He knew what he was doing when he chose you to be their mom. So, love them well, pray for them always and enjoy life. Cookies will burn, kids will misbehave, and life will go on. 

Just choose to angle your camera to see the good in it all.

Marriage Monday- It’s Time to Start Dating Again!

14 Monday Oct 2019

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When we got married, my husband would still ask me on dates. I thought it was silly. Why should I date him when I’m married to him? 

Then one day I realized something. We have to be intentional with our marriages and dating couples should not be having more fun than us old married folk. Seriously! 

Photo Via Pixabay

The thing is – dating couples ARE intentional. When you were dating you went to dinner, the movies, on picnics, or to a local coffee shop. The point is, you found ways to have fun together. Once married we stop doing this. I mean why do I need to put my effort into planning time away with my partner when I live with them?  Planning goes out the window and life settles in.

What I found out was that daily life has a way of causing us to forget all the great things we love about each other. My husband is the most hilarious person I have ever met, but when I am cleaning the toilet, I am not thinking about his humor, I’m thinking about how much I wish ALL the men in my house would more carefully aim.

Photo Via Pixabay

And we are both huge talkers. We can talk for hours, laugh for days, and really cover a million topics in a matter of minutes. The thing is, we don’t do that as often as we used to because there are lunches to pack and bills to pay. We come home and we begin running around the house “trying to get things done” just so we can be ready for the next crazy day.

When we were dating, we talked on the phone for hours, we found any excuse to be together, went out of our way to please each other and gave up other things just to have some fun together.

Who has time for that these days?

It’s time we make time and here’s how we do that in the midst of the busy life we have today.

Twice a month my husband and I have a “date night” that works both as a time to reconnect as well as a time to cross some household items off the list. Dinner is a must for our date night, then we leave the rest open a bit. Usually we end up at the grocery store to grab what we need for the week ahead. I know, us crazy kids… The thing is we look so forward to this night because we try different restaurants and we take our time with dinner. This is an opportunity to reconnect, regroup, and release any of the stress of the last couple weeks. Some nights we do go to the movies, or out for ice cream, but the point is, this is a time for us to be us again. (and the grocery store is just a side note for us- we are in town, don’t want to go back to town, so we quickly get what we need- for us it’s a win win.)

Photo Via Pixabay

At least once a year we go away for a couple days, just the two of us. We love our trips to the wineries, we love heading to the city for a show, we love finding a nice place to stay and sleeping in and letting someone else clean the toilet for a change.

You married your spouse for a reason. Stay married for a reason. Remember the things you used to do that kept you excited to be together and start doing them again. And if money is tight, then find ways to be together that won’t cost a lot. When my husband and I started planning these dates, we literally kept an envelope of money that we would put a few extra dollars in anytime we could and when it added up to be enough to head out- we did. When there was no extra money, we took a long walk, found some free event happening near us or just had the grandparents watch the kids so we could sit on the back porch with a good cup of coffee and just be together for a bit. The point is we made time for each other.

Photo Via Pixabay

This week- We challenge you to be creative and ask your spouse on a date. Make it fun, make it something you both like to do, bring back an old memory that you shared. But no matter what you choose, let this be a night where you commit to just having a good time. Problems can be dealt with later and chores will still be there. For one night, just be you again.

 Laugh, eat, hold hands, and talk. It’s amazing how one night of fun can wash away days of stress and anxiety. Start dating again- it’s a great thing.

Scripture Reference:

Proverbs 17:22– A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Prayer:

Lord, today let us learn to have fun again. Remind us to have a cheerful heart and to remember to be just as intentional today with our relationships as we were in the beginning. Help us to see the importance of enjoying our time together and making fun a priority. In Jesus name, Amen.

I’ve got the BEST news!!!

10 Thursday Oct 2019

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Guys, I’m soooooo excited!  I have the best news, seriously, just doesn’t get much better than this!  I admit, this writing isn’t like the rest, this one is pretty personal, but to be completely honest- it’s the reason we write.

Our Crazy Family

Our family, it’s what keeps us going, it’s what inspires us, drives us crazy, and makes us laugh. It’s why we have the material to write this blog and believe me, they provide an awesome amount of material.

Okay, so on to the amazing news- our family is GROWING! Woo Hoo!!!!  We are going to be GRANDPARENTS AGAIN! (I bet you can’t tell how excited we are can you?)

Our new little pumpkin

Our first little grand-baby has brought us such joy. His giggle, determination, and playful spirit lights up the room. I even love his little miserable frown when he has decided that he doesn’t like what you are saying. “No” brings it on quite quickly… (and often) (He is his father’s son)

Love this little drooly face!

So now we wonder, what will this new baby bring into our lives? Will it be another sweet boy that keeps us on our toes or a precious bundle of pink that is full of cuddles? As you can probably already guess- we really don’t care, but it’s so fun to think about!

I’ll let you know when we know and until then we just wanted to share our joy and excitement with you all!

My Marriage & Yours

25 Wednesday Sep 2019

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 “I love you. You annoy me more than I ever thought possible, but I want to spend every irritating minute with you.”

  This is the message that my husband sent me on a random Wednesday morning just a few weeks ago. 

It’s apparent that he could use some work on his skills with the ladies, but after all these years I already knew that. (jk) (well sorta).

Photo Via Pixabay

Today is our anniversary and I have to say this sums up our marriage pretty perfectly. And yes, I do plan to irritate him every single minute of the day for the rest of his life- especially now that I know how much he loves it. 

Photo Via Pixabay

Seriously though, marriage can be super annoying, and fun, and frustrating, and full of so many different challenges and joys in life. It’s a chance to laugh together, cry together, and work through some of the best and worst of ourselves.

I frequently tell my husband that at this point, whether he wants to or not, he has seen far to much of my “worst” so he can never leave.

As much as I hope you know that I’m joking, I also really mean it. Listen, we all have those moments we’d like to forget and being married often means there’s a witness to our crazy.

Photo Via Pixabay

I love posting about the great days and putting the biggest smiles on social media but as for the skeletons in my closet, those need to stay locked up tightly.

A few years ago my husband and I were asked to lead a marriage conference. It was some of the hardest work we have ever done. I personally had no idea how writing, speaking, and planning together would cause us to really re-evaluate our own relationship. Now, if you’ve read this blog for long, you fully realize that we are not experts. However, you also know that life and all its challenges often causes us to grow and learn and change in ways we never thought we could.

And that’s what we have to give.

The tidbits we have learned over the years have taken us from that immature, selfish, ridiculous young couple to having a much more content, happy, and most of the time skeleton free life.

So that being said and in honor of our anniversary we have decided to share some of those tidbits with you. Each week we will post a little excerpt from the teaching we did and hopefully you will gain some great grains of wisdom for your own relationship.

Photo Via Pixabay

So, Happy Anniversary sweetheart, here’s to helping other couples irritate each other in the happiest way possible for the rest of their lives too.

See ya next week.

Our Journey Back to Health: Managing Stress

10 Sunday Mar 2019

Posted by in Personal Growth

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If you read my blog about my son leaving for boot camp then you know this mommas heart has held so many emotions this month that it is about to burst. Stress is a major enemy in any healthy lifestyle change and although I’m glad to say that we stuck with our healthy eating plan, I struggled big time.

Photo Via Pixabay

Food has always been a huge comfort for me, it’s my go to when I have something awesome to celebrate. It’s my companion when I’ve had a rough day and my constant friend when I’m alone.

Watching my son prepare for this new season of his life was amazing, he was ready for it, I was not. I wanted to use food in all the ways I always had. Celebrate this new season, comfort my aching heart, remove the pain of loneliness, ease the reality of letting go. Without my usual go to treats, I was at a bit of a loss. Breaking old habits is hard, creating new ones in the midst of raw emotions… even harder.

Photo Via Pixabay

I know this new season will be incredible. I’m always amazed at how God works it all out, but there is pain in the process and I was wanting some sugar to ease it all. To top it off my husband was away at a conference and had no choice but to eat out for most of a week and the way our schedule worked we ended up eating out for 3 days after he got home. It’s a wonder we didn’t gain all the weight back.

But we didn’t.

He ended up only gaining a pound and I didn’t get on the scale. Ignorance is not bliss but I have to be honest here. With all the emotions I was dealing with, I didn’t think I could handle the scale at this moment so I made the decision to take a breath and stay off of it. I decided that instead I would celebrate the fact that we had both stuck to our plan completely. Food cooked at restaurants may not have the same healthy standards that we have at home, so no matter how hard we try weeks like this will come and I knew that I needed to make a decision to be proud of our progress and move forward.  

So how did I deal with the stress? I’ve compiled 5 things that helped me through.

1. I took a lot of hot baths. 

Photo Via Pixabay

I spent hours in that tub and when I say hot bath I mean that if I step out of the bath and I can’t see a difference in the parts that were in the water and the parts that were not- we have a problem. (Yes, I do know that scalding hot baths may not be the health choice of the season, but I like it that way and it was better than eating a whole cheesecake which was plan B.)

I needed those baths. This was a time for me to turn all the lights off, light some candles, (I especially love those fake battery operated ones that look real) and turn on some great worship music. As I lay there, praying, worshiping, and sometimes crying, I found some peace. I laced my bath with Epson salts and essential oils, set a nice glass of wine on the side of the tub and soaked until I wrinkled. Those sweet peaceful aromas and that relaxing atmosphere did not take the stress away completely, but it did give me a much-needed reprieve. 

2. A great book is a perfect getaway.

Photo Via Pixabay

I love to read, but I don’t take the time for it anymore. So this month I did. I had a couple books that were recommended to me by a ladies book club at my church and I decided to dive in. These books were in the Christian self-help genre and what I found was exactly what I needed. I found encouragement, laughter, tears, and motivation. They were not diet books, they were books for life that held so many nuggets of truth that I had to make more mental notes that I can hold. Currently I’m re-reading one of those books. If I can fill my mind with the good things, then there won’t be room for the bad right? 

3. Prayer works.

Photo Via Pixabay

I know that I already mentioned prayer in the bath part of this blog, but this topic needs a section all its own. Prayer gives hope, help and a way to let go of stress. I have always been a praying woman. Lately though, I’ve been distracted in prayer and realized it was time to really refocus. I started writing in my prayer journal again, and I began to truly get alone with God. I need Him always but life gets in the way more than I want to admit. The bible says to give God our cares because he cares for us. How can I give anything to God if I’m not praying. Each time I’d pray- there would be peace. Like most of you, once I was done praying, the peace would fade. Life has a way of doing that to us, so I prayed often and held on tight.

4. Understanding that Good Stress is still stress.

My son leaving was what I would consider good stress. This was his dream, something he fought for, something he had overcome many obstacles to accomplish. I was and am very proud of him and extremely excited for him, but I quickly realized that no matter how “good” this was, I couldn’t control the anxiety it caused. What would my new life look like without him in the day to day?  What was my purpose now that most of my kids were raised and gone?  Who am I without them?  These are not bad questions, but they are stressful ones. I needed to get to a place where asking them didn’t cut like a knife and seem like an ending to a season I adored. Instead I needed to ask them honestly and prayerfully and find a way to see this new season as the beginning of an amazing new chapter.

Photo Via Pixabay

5. I need something to look forward too.

I need something to be excited about. It doesn’t have to be expensive or outlandish, it just has to be on the calendar. Something I can shoot for, mark off the days for. My husband and I have “date nights” a couple times a month where we literally just go out to dinner and then get groceries. I know your jealous, (LOL) but hear me out. Just knowing that I have a night away, a night where we will have a quiet dinner, a time to talk, and a reset on our weeks- this gets me through the tough days. In a few weeks we have a whole night away planned and I’m super excited about that as well. It’s amazing how 1 night away can reset a weary soul. What about you?  What works for you?  What doesn’t?  Throughout this journey I’m realizing more and more how unique we all are and how incredibly cool that is. My husband handles stress very differently than I do, instead of a hot bath he sinks deeply into his recliner and gets his mind on a computer game or watches a movie. If life gets overwhelming for him, that’s where you’ll find him. He has been there a lot lately. Letting go is hard. Adjusting to new seasons filled with uncertainty and change- even harder. So we learn to lean into God, we manage our emotions to the best of our ability and we keep moving forward. One step today equals two tomorrow and after a while we look back and we realize how far we’ve come.

Change is…Good?

26 Saturday Jan 2019

Posted by in Personal Growth

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I had goals, I had expectations for life, and I had a plan. A really good plan by the way, and as long as everything went as planned then life would be perfect. Right?

change blog1
Photo Via Pixabay

Oh how wrong I was.

Nobody told me that no matter how hard you try, how meticulous you are with the details, life can still snatch that perfectly laid plan and disrupt the whole thing.

Disruptions were not part of my plan.

When I graduated High School (just a few very short years ago…) I planned to go to college, after college I would get married, and after 2 years of marriage I would have a baby. Now, I wasn’t actually dating anyone at the time but that was not the point. This plan was good and if I followed it to the letter I would be a successful, happy adult.

Oh how good life is with a carefully laid plan. (Insert sigh of relief here)

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Photo Via Pixabay

Then partway through my freshman year of college I ran into a guy I knew from High School. This was not just any guy, this was “the guy”.  The guy who had been one of my best friends, the guy who I had dated a bit and had the most fun with, the guy who I really liked, and most importantly the guy who could mess up any carefully laid plan.

Dang, there he was, there I was, and there was that kiss in the kitchen that sealed the deal. I was toast.

BUT, don’t get me wrong. I still had a plan and this would fit so perfectly into it. In just a few short years I would graduate college and this guy would be the perfect husband to that perfect plan. I just love it when a plan comes together, don’t you?

If you are wondering where the punch line is- I won’t make you wait for long.

Every single plan I made changed, and I was not very happy about it. “The guy” was in the U.S.Navy and in case you aren’t aware, people in the service can be moved to locations far away from you, which by the way was not part of the plan.

Ok, so maybe I’d compromise a bit here. I mean who said you had to actually graduate college before you get married?  Lot’s of people get married and still graduate right?

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Look at those kids, bless their hearts.

So I tweaked my plan and dropped out of college right before my junior year. We moved 18 long hours from home (In my plan I had ALWAYS said I would NEVER move more than 2 hours from home). Please, if you learn nothing else from me, please never ever ever say those two words. Because the truth is- following those two words are these two: Challenge Accepted…. Lord help me, it’s true.

My husband knew of my goals and my determination was unmatched. Once settled, I began looking for colleges to transfer to. I found one close, but alas, it didn’t have the major that I loved and again my plans had to change.

Did I mention that I hate change.

I really hate change.

I really really hate changes that I am forced to make.

I really really really hate changes that are out of my control. (I think you get the point)

Okay, so let’s look on the bright side, at least I can finish college… at least there’s that.

Then, a few months before our second anniversary I found out that I was pregnant. We were so excited. Plans were back on track, college was going well and life was good.

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Photo Via Pixabay

Why is it that curve balls get thrown when they are least expected? Just when you think you have it all together, bam, curve ball. Ug.

(Insert curve ball here…)

Sadly, we lost that precious baby on our second anniversary. (another blog for another time perhaps) Being in the hospital on our anniversary was definitely, not part of the plan. My heart was broken. My life seemed like one disappointment after the other.

Not being the type to give up easily though, we began to try again. I was determined to be a mother.  Months passed. No baby. I began to get depressed. Friends were becoming parents and here I was wondering what was wrong with me?  Then, on the very month our first baby was due, I became pregnant with our oldest son.

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Photo Via Pixabay

A friend once told me that although she had also had a very painful miscarriage, she realized that if it hadn’t happened, she would not have her daughter. My story is the same. Had I not had that miscarriage I would not have my son and I cannot imagine my life without him in it. Don’t misunderstand me here, I would never want to lose a pregnancy, but I did realize that I could chose to focus on the blessing instead of the loss.

Life has certainly not gone as planned.

No matter how hard I tried or how stubborn I was, life just had a way of knocking me right off course.

Life is so hard.

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Photo Via Pixabay

As you have probably already guessed, I did not graduate college as planned either. It took me a lot longer than expected. I transferred universities a few times and got discouraged more than I want to admit. When I did finally graduate, I had a 3 year old son and was 8 months pregnant with his little brother. My husband often reminds me that for as long as I was in college I could be a doctor right now, and he could be retired. I often remind him that it is his fault we moved around so much. We are at a stalemate on this one.

The point is- I did end up graduating. My goals were not met the way I thought they should be. Not one thing I planned has turned out the way I expected or wanted it to, but to be honest, (I can’t believe I’m admitting this) I really think it has turned out better. My plans were good, but the challenges and changes that life has thrown at us, has made me appreciate the outcomes so much more than if I had just accomplished them in my own way.

Change makes us uncomfortable but it also makes us see and experience things that we wouldn’t otherwise. And although some change can be painful, I can see now how it has all made me who I am today.

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Photo Via Pixabay

Change is the salt in our lives, it spices things up and takes us places we never thought we’d go.

It makes us regroup, re-plan, and refocus.

I can’t believe I’m saying this either, and I may not admit it later, but I have grown to really welcome change. I still don’t like it most of the time, but the outcome is always better than my own plans ever could be.

Maybe God really does know what He’s doing, and maybe I really need to just trust Him more.

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Photo Via Pixabay

So, the question is, do I still make plans? The answer to this one is simple, I most certainly do. I dream big, plan big, and then I ride this old roller coaster of life. It twists and turns my plans right upside down.  Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose, and sometimes I just get sick to my stomach.  My plans may change, I may accomplish my goals far differently than expected- but oh I do accomplish them.  And along the way, I learn, I grow, and yes- I too change.

Change is good.

Life is good.

Hang on dear friends, change is coming. My prayer for you is that you can look back on your life the way that I do and be glad for every single unexpected turn.

Starting Over… Again

01 Tuesday Dec 2015

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No milk for breakfast, that’s ok we’ll just have toast today. One son doesn’t want to go school, no problem encourager mom to the rescue. Another son’s interrupting every single conversation my husband and I are trying to have.  No big deal I just patiently tell him to brush his teeth.

What I’m really thinking is- “he won’t be able to talk with a toothbrush in his mouth”.

Then I realize we are also out of dog food, the sink is piled with dishes and there is a broken glass in the broken dishwasher that is now being used as a very expensive drying rack.  One son can’t find underwear, and another can’t find jeans. I now inform my precious  ones that they will either find said clothes or go to school naked, but either way they will be in that car on time.

Encourager mom has now left the building and the new mom who has taken her place has even the pets running in fear. frustrated-mom

At this point I’m beginning to unravel, one tiny thread at a time.  My plan of mother of the year will have to begin again tomorrow.

It’s amazing to me that even after determining in my heart to remain understanding, patient and kind, I can become defeated by 7am.

Now I realize I do have a choice in this. My reactions to the day’s events are all on me, and today my regret list is rapidly growing.

I started out good, I really did, and then inch by inch little things started adding up. None of which were life changing. None are that important. However, each has stolen a little piece of my patience, and I have turned a corner.

Philippians 4:6 says “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

Had I done this? The truth is I had gotten so caught up in all I had to do and all that was happening this morning that I didn’t take the time to go to God.  I skipped the only thing that could have helped me.

As I sit here typing I am thinking of Paul. In Acts chapter 16 we see a picture of him in jail.  He had been stripped, severely beaten, placed in the inner parts of the jail and had his feet placed in the stocks. His attitude in this situation sets me back a bit. The bible says that at midnight he sings, and not a halfhearted song, but a song of true heartfelt worship that actually shakes the shackles right off- literally.

You see, when we truly come to God in all our moments, with all our hearts; when we worship Him with everything we have even when it hurts, things in our lives change. The shackles that are holding us down and stealing our joy- they have to go.

great moms 4Let’s pause for a minute and reflect on my morning… Here I am losing my cool over a couple of half- naked kids and some dirty dishes.  As I step back and really begin to breathe, I realize my mistake. I put all of my peace in my routine. I wasn’t worshiping in the storm, I was worshiping the storm. I am choosing now to take a new breath, to yet again change course, and get things back on track. I am going to pray and bring all these things before God, and then I’m going to worship with my whole heart.

It’s now a bit after 7am and I’m starting over today. I have God, I’m still breathing, and I just noticed that my husband has dressed the kids.

See, things are already looking up.  I’m praying yours looks up too.

 

I’m Not “That” Girl…

15 Sunday Nov 2015

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The bible says all things are possible if you believe.coffee

I know it’s true. But I’m not sure God was talking about me when He inspired that word. I think He was talking about that girl down the street, the one with the clean house, the perfect kids, and the successful career. You know her; you know people like her. They can’t fail; everything they touch turns to gold. They perform brain surgery in the morning and bake a picture perfect birthday cake in the afternoon.

I am not that girl.

I’m the other one, on the other side of the street. The one with dust balls under the couch and a loaf of bread that is growing little hair like things all over it. The plants are dead, but the bread is growing. Which is why I am so glad God doesn’t choose me because of my abilities. He doesn’t choose me because “I can.” He chooses me because He can.

He doesn’t look at my outward appearance and say, “Hey, that’s my girl, she has it all together.” Nope, he probably looks at me and thinks to himself, “Wait till she sees what I am about to do. That girl who just spilled coffee all over herself and locked her keys in her car at the gas station, causing her husband to have to leave work to rescue her yet again… Oh yes, that’s the one. She’s my girl. And I am about to show the world what I can do through her little coffee-spilled, key-locked, bread-growing self.”

I’m the girl whose prayers always seem to start with, “Sorry, Lord, I’ve done it again…” and “it” can be anything from “put my foot in my mouth,” “yelled at my kids,” “lost my patience with my coworkers,” gossiped, ate the WHOLE cheesecake…etc. (Okay, enough dirty laundry for today) But seriously, that’s me, one mistake after another, and yet God wants to do something with my life anyway. He still has a good plan for me.

Now, I didn’t say it was an easy plan. I’d be lying if I said that. Life is hard, we make mistakes, we struggle and we spill our coffee–but we get back up, brush ourselves off and do some laundry, washing those stains right out. And I know that’s what God has done for me. He’s the one picking me up, brushing me off, and cleaning me up just when I need it, every single time. Then He puts me back on that perfect path He created for me, and I start moving again. I love that.

I want you to know that God has a perfect, unique path for your life, too. You are important to God, no matter the mess you’ve made, no matter the challenges you face. He has a plan for you. Jeremiah 29 11

It’s time we quit trying to fix everything ourselves and let God do it for us. He can, He will, and He wants to.

Besides, it’s less stressful that way.

Today, I want to challenge you with this: Let God do your heavy lifting. Let Him put you on the path He has for you, and let Him take you to new places. Places you never dreamed you could go.

From one simple coffee-stained woman to another, we can do this.

What Are You Looking At?

01 Sunday Nov 2015

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About a year ago, my husband and I made the decision that we needed to trade in our minivan for something 4-wheel drive, something that could handle our rough northern winters. After getting stuck numerous times over the past few years, we’d finally had enough, deciding that shovels and rock salt just aren’t cutting it. That, and the fact that I was becoming unglued every time a snowflake was even mentioned–and I do mean unglued–left us with no other option.winter roads.jpg

So car shopping we went. It didn’t take long for us to realize that prices had changed quite a bit since the last time we went on a test drive. And that wasn’t the only thing that had changed. I can now have my bottom warmed while Siri checks for directions and my car parks itself. It’s pretty unbelievable, to the point that I’m honestly not sure if my car even needs me for anything anymore (except maybe to pay for gas). And if I’m being honest, these endless options–the seat warmers and all the other gadgets–were pretty enticing as we wandered about the lot that afternoon. So enticing, in fact, that I soon realized my wants were quickly outgrowing my pocketbook. I began to feel like what I could afford wasn’t quite good enough, and the more we looked the less satisfied I became. (Photo Via Pixabay)

Eventually I opened my eyes and remembered why we had begun this process: safety in the winter. It was our sole reason for car shopping, but I had lost sight of it while becoming envious of everything I didn’t have. Isn’t this what we do more than we’d like to admit? We want what we see and forget to appreciate what we already have. A friend of mine just built the most beautiful house. Gorgeous stonework lines the front, the views from the windows are amazing, and there are more rooms than I can count. I was happy for my friend, and yet when I looked at my house it began to seem stuffy and small. It lacked the grandeur of her large house on the hill.  Maybe I was looking at the wrong things. Maybe, just like the car, I was making mental lists of items I didn’t have instead of the things I did.

There is an old saying that I hear many men and women say today, it’s the “I can look as long as I don’t touch” mentality. This mentality says that I can be in a relationship with someone but still check out the opposite sex and that’s ok as long as I’m just looking.

What I’m beginning to realize is that there are enormous amounts of harm in “just looking,” so I decided to give myself a little challenge. I decided I would only look at what I had. I would not allow myself to focus on anything that belonged to anyone else, regardless of how innocent it seemed. And that’s when I truly started to see things differently. what are you looking at blogI began to recognize the peace I get from sitting outside on my back porch with my morning coffee, surrounded by woods in every direction. It became exactly the place I wanted to be. I realized how perfect that porch is for me, and I honestly wouldn’t trade it for anything. Not even a huge house on a hill.

As for the car, well, I found one that is going to get me safely where I need to be this winter. It isn’t fancy, and sadly it won’t be warming my bottom, but I really like it. It has a few extras, and the more I look at it, and the more I quit comparing it to what I don’t have, the more I am enjoying it. (Photo Via Pixabay)

How about our spouses?  Now, hear me out on this. No matter who we are married to, there is always someone better looking, someone with more money, you name it, and we can find it.

As long as we just look, it’s all good, right?

Well, I really don’t think so. Just like the car and the house, the more we look, the more we can’t help but see what we have as not quite good enough. We start to make lists of what we wish our spouse could be like. We begin to crave what we don’t have, and that can be dangerous. When we refuse to look at anyone but our own spouse, we can begin to see the beauty in them in ways we probably missed before.

Now, I know that all this goes against the norm, but as women who love Jesus, I think it’s exactly what we should be doing. Proverbs 14:12 says that there is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. Marriages fail because we think that someone better has come along, someone who has less baggage than our current partner. Checking accounts get depleted because we have to have the latest gadgets and keep up with the neighbors. Stress in this country has reached previously unheard of levels. Peace and joy have been lost in a sea of wants and wishes. People are shouldering baggage so heavy the weight is literally killing them. What if we put those bags down? What if we decide only to look at what we already have and appreciate it with new eyes? Wouldn’t it be nice to release ourselves from the burden of needing to keep up with everyone else and just focus on Jesus and the beautiful things He has given us?holding hands

Now, I don’t mean that we will suddenly have full bank accounts and husbands with washboard stomachs that hold on to our every word and talk to us for hours. No, I mean maybe we will see for the first time how the curve of his face is really perfect, or how he takes our hand right when we need him to. We will appreciate the things we forgot we had. Please don’t get me wrong here. I’m not judging anyone. I’ve made all the mistakes and believed all the lies, but what I’ve discovered in myself through this process is a renewed joy. I’ve found that I need less and love more, that the smile on my face is much less fake these days, and that is something to shout about. (Photo Via Pixabay)

So how about it? What are you looking at? How about trying something different and stepping away from the crowd and the pressures of society for a fresh start? How about focusing on Jesus and all He has done for you. Let’s look with new eyes today, and tomorrow I believe we will see things a whole lot differently.