• About Me
  • Video Messages

Monthly Archives: October 2020

How Do I Deal With My Deepest Hurts?

13 Tuesday Oct 2020

Posted by Nicole Schrader in Personal Growth, Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

desperate, faith, help, Help me Jesus, hope, hurt, I can't take this, Jesus, overcome, overcoming, sad, suicide, suicide prevention

I’ll never forget the first night back at our new apartment after our honeymoon. We went to bed and as I laid my head down I felt something under my husband’s pillow. It was a picture of his dad. A picture that he had been sleeping with for years.

Now, I don’t mean to jump right into a deep conversation about tragedy but the ugly truth is life can be cruel.  Sometimes we get hit so hard that our hearts feel like they will never recover.

Image by SplitShire from Pixabay

I also want to preface this by saying that I have my husband’s full permission to write this today. He has read this blog and placed his stamp of approval on it. I would never share it otherwise.

My husband is my hero. He is a true general in the army of God, a walking testimony of a life that won’t give up.

But sometimes he hurts so desperately.

Sometimes he wants to quit and run and hide and not come out for a very long time and to be quite honest I don’t blame him. I have been there and I’m sure you have too.

So with all that said- let’s talk about the reality of life, the situations that we didn’t see coming and the path to healing that seems so far away.

I’ll start by telling you a piece of his story.

When my husband was just 15 years old he received a call that no one would ever want to receive. His biological father had just attempted suicide.  My husband’s world spun out of control.

Photo Via Pixabay

I don’t think there is anything worse than sitting by a hospital bed wondering why and searching for answers as you hold the hand of someone who is slipping away.

The answers will never come.

As my husband reeled from the loss, questioned his own worth, wondered if there was anything that he could have done, his little teenage heart filled with regret for not being enough to make his dad want to live.

As adults we know in our heads that it wasn’t about Ryan at all. We know that there were other things that plagued his dad, that he had lost hope and couldn’t see a road out of the troubles that overwhelmed him.

Our hearts don’t always get the memo from our heads though. Our hearts just plain break.

To be at such an integral age, barely a teen, no longer a child, definitely not an adult, but dealing with a situation beyond all imagination- Ryan began to withdraw inside.

He learned to cut off his emotions.

Photo Via Pixabay

Trama often causes our bodies to go into a protective mode. He didn’t talk about what happened, he acted like he was fine, went along with his life like all was good in the world, but that picture remained hidden under his pillow. A desperate attempt at holding on to a life that was no longer.

The night that I discovered that picture under the pillow (I knew nothing about it before that). He tentatively took it from my hands and set it on the dresser. He told me that he guessed it could stay there for now. I tried to press for more information but it was clear that there would be no conversation to follow. In fact, it would be many years before any real conversation would occur.

Ryan turned away from God during that time. (understatement of the century)

He told me that he couldn’t believe that a God (any God) could exist in the midst of all the chaos and tragedy in the world because any real God would not allow all this.

Image by Pezibear from Pixabay

Have you ever felt that way?

Before I married my husband I didn’t know any of this. I didn’t know about his dad, I didn’t know about his pain, I had no idea what was hidden behind all those closed doors because I didn’t know the doors existed.

I prayed.  I didn’t know what else to do.

I want to tell you that God just healed every hurt, that he took all the pain away and that Ryan never has to feel all of that again but the truth is he still deals with that loss and will for the rest of his life. I’d be lying if I said otherwise and you would know it.

What I can tell you is this- God helped Ryan to recover. He came in and opened Ryan’s heart. He allowed the grieving and in the process he caused Ryan to have a compassion for others that I’ve never seen before.  He showed Ryan how much he is truly loved, how it wasn’t his fault and how incredibly good Jesus is- even in the midst of the worst. He showed Ryan that a loving God does exist and although terrible things do happen, God has a plan for it all.

Image by Akhil Kokani from Pixabay

Ryan has a new perspective these days. He has come full circle.

So how do you deal with your deepest hurts?  How did he?

One single second at a time and one simple prayer- “Jesus I don’t understand this, I can’t breath, I can’t do this, I need help, I need hope, I need something to hang on to, I think I need you.”

Ryan says that he has learned that God does not ever bring these things into our lives, instead he is the one that walks us through them. He tells me that God sees a big picture that we can’t even begin to comprehend and that God will not for even a second leave us or forsake us.

Talk about coming full circle.

As Ryan has walked through this life he has learned that what he goes through today someone may need to hear about tomorrow and that his own personal tragedies can be the very thing that saves someone else’s life.

None of us would ever choose to go through these situations but we don’t have to get stuck in them either. We can overcome. Jesus can heal, your life can have meaning, you can recover, you can be whole again, and your life most definitely has purpose.

Ryan has healed because of Jesus and in spite of the situation. If you are desperate for hope today, trust a very loving God who can help you through the very unloving world we live in. My husband is living proof that you can make it.

Image by Twighlightzone from Pixabay

If you want to overcome the heartbreak and the pain there is only one place that you will find the healing you need. The Bible says to ask and you shall receive… so ask Jesus today. The road may be long but if he can walk my husband down that dusty old path of recovery then I believe with my whole heart that he can walk you down it too.

You don’t have to do anything by yourself. You have Jesus, you have us, and you can have hope- receive it today.

Love you all, praying for you today and always.

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Pinterest
  • Tumblr

Like this:

Like Loading...

You Are More Than You Think You Are.

06 Tuesday Oct 2020

Posted by Nicole Schrader in Personal Growth

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

believe, change, health, help, hope, Jesus, peace, purpose, You are more than you think, You can do it!

I got this little succulent at the start of all the chaos this year. Isn’t it just the cutest? I had no idea what it would become, what it was supposed to look like, or even how to take care of it.

When the weather started to change in the spring and it became warm enough to put the little guy outside I did. What happened next surprised me. That cute little plant took over. It grew and grew until I had to remove it from the pot it was in.  Tiny new plants grew on it’s leaves and one good gust of wind sent them everywhere. I suddenly found myself pulling these tiny babies out of all my other plants.

I have since done some research. This succulent is nicknamed “The Mother of Many Daughters” & “The Mother of Thousands”. How cool is that? From a tiny adorable little plant to one that can’t be stopped and certainly one that makes an impression on anyone who gets close to it.

Every single time I bump the table it sits on, every time even a wisp of the wind blows, every time I look at that plant- it sends its tiny little ones on a journey to find new soil and new life grows. I have even found this plant growing in places it shouldn’t be able to.

I believe that’s what God sees in each of us.

Don’t be afraid to dream big. Tiny beginnings are often filled with more potential than we realize.

He looks at us and he sees this minuscule person (my words not God’s) who has no idea what the right soil and a little “son” time will do. He sees how our lives can effect everything and everyone around us even when we are not consious of it. We may bump into people by chance, the wind may blow us to and fro and what we see as life’s crazy journey, God may be using to move us right where we are needed.

Today, trust that though you may feel tiny and insignificant, God can make you like this plant. Strong and mighty, powerful and effective, full of life that changes everything around you even when you aren’t aware of it.

Times have been crazy, the storms have been extreme and the soil may seem pretty rocky, but remember who is raising you up. Remember who loves you more than you can imagine. Remember Jesus today and what He did for you on that old rugged cross then remember that he didn’t stop there. He rose to raise you up too. He gave his life so you could thrive in yours. No matter what you are facing today, no matter what Covid has stolen, or what the political climate brings, remember who is walking you through it all. You can live today, you can grow, you can change, and you can make a difference.

Maybe, just maybe, you were created for such a time as this.

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Pinterest
  • Tumblr

Like this:

Like Loading...
valentines pic1
Wife. Mom of three. Passionate lover of Jesus. Teacher. Writer. Speaker. Encourager. Believer in Hope.
I want to leave a legacy. I fail, I disappoint, but I hang on for dear life. My goal is to never, ever, not even for a second, give up. I hope this blog will inspire you to do the same.

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 118 other subscribers
Follow on WordPress.com

Recent Posts

  • Life Is Sweet.
  • I Raise a Hallelujah
  • Christmas- Cookies, Gifts, Trees & STRESS. What Does It All Really Mean?
  • God and Gut Punches
  • Simple. Needed. Loved.

Recent Comments

Marian MacNett on Life Is Sweet.
Jeannie D'Amico on I Raise a Hallelujah
Marian MacNett on I Raise a Hallelujah
Michelle on I Raise a Hallelujah
Marian MacNett on God and Gut Punches

Archives

  • December 2022
  • September 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • December 2017
  • September 2017
  • December 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015

Recent Posts

  • Life Is Sweet.
  • I Raise a Hallelujah
  • Christmas- Cookies, Gifts, Trees & STRESS. What Does It All Really Mean?
  • God and Gut Punches
  • Simple. Needed. Loved.

Recent Comments

Marian MacNett on Life Is Sweet.
Jeannie D'Amico on I Raise a Hallelujah
Marian MacNett on I Raise a Hallelujah
Michelle on I Raise a Hallelujah
Marian MacNett on God and Gut Punches

Archives

  • December 2022
  • September 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • December 2017
  • September 2017
  • December 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015

Categories

  • encouragement
  • Kids and Family
  • marriage
  • Personal Growth
  • Uncategorized

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 118 other subscribers

Recent Posts

  • Life Is Sweet.
  • I Raise a Hallelujah
  • Christmas- Cookies, Gifts, Trees & STRESS. What Does It All Really Mean?
  • God and Gut Punches
  • Simple. Needed. Loved.

Recent Comments

Marian MacNett on Life Is Sweet.
Jeannie D'Amico on I Raise a Hallelujah
Marian MacNett on I Raise a Hallelujah
Michelle on I Raise a Hallelujah
Marian MacNett on God and Gut Punches

Archives

  • December 2022
  • September 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • December 2017
  • September 2017
  • December 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015

Recent Posts

  • Life Is Sweet.
  • I Raise a Hallelujah
  • Christmas- Cookies, Gifts, Trees & STRESS. What Does It All Really Mean?
  • God and Gut Punches
  • Simple. Needed. Loved.

Recent Comments

Marian MacNett on Life Is Sweet.
Jeannie D'Amico on I Raise a Hallelujah
Marian MacNett on I Raise a Hallelujah
Michelle on I Raise a Hallelujah
Marian MacNett on God and Gut Punches

Archives

  • December 2022
  • September 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • December 2017
  • September 2017
  • December 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015

Blog at WordPress.com.

  • Follow Following
    • crazystupidlife.org
    • Join 118 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • crazystupidlife.org
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...
 

    %d bloggers like this: