I remember a number of years ago, I had been asked to be in a wedding. My hair was done, I had put the bridesmaid dress on and Ryan walked into the room. He took one look at me and his eyes lit up and he said “Wow, you look amazing”.
I can’t tell you how great that moment made me feel.
My day to day routine doesn’t usually lend itself to him noticing me the way he did that day. My ripped up sweat pants, t-shirts, and pony tail certainly don’t match a really cute dress and a great hair stylist but I still think there are opportunities to show our spouse how much we like them.
Seriously LIKE them.
By finding opportunities to really build each other up, we also begin to build confidence in our spouse and our relationship. When you see your spouse doing something you appreciate, tell them. It seems that the longer couples are together the less they feel the need to express those little moments to each other.
But notice the scripture reference for this one. “How handsome you are, my beloved! Oh, how charming! And our bed is verdant.”
A few good compliments and then a description of their bed being “verdant”. I couldn’t resist- so I looked up the meaning and found that it means- green, fresh, and flourishing. (and people say the bible is boring…)
Doesn’t sound too bad now does it? Listen, we all need to feel wanted, desired, and appreciated. We want to know that we matter and are not taken for granted. After we get married we get into a routine and routines often lead to complacency. It’s not intentional, sometimes it’s just survival. Today let’s start to build each other up and hopefully we can have that green, fresh, and flourishing relationship that deep down we all wish for.
Scripture reference:
Song of Songs 1:16 “How handsome you are, my beloved! Oh, how charming! And our bed is verdant.
Prayer: Lord, thank you for giving me a spouse that is unique and wonderful. Help us both to see and appreciate all that they do and to remember not to take any of these things for granted. Let us look with new eyes today and always remember how important it is to express our appreciation for the many things that they do for us. Open our hearts to each other and renew our love to the point that it spills out into our words. In Jesus name, Amen.
When my opinion or belief suddenly allows me permission to physically or emotionally abuse another person, then we have a problem that far surpasses the topic at hand. This week alone I have read numerous articles from some incredibly gifted and scholarly people who openly give allowances to uncalled-for behavior simply because others don’t agree with them.
Believe it or not, we can totally disagree about anything and everything, and I can still get the door for you, I can still have a cup of coffee with you, and I can still be kind to you. In fact, I may not get my way in certain situations, we can have a heated discussion that is open and honest and fueled by our own differing viewpoints and I can still show you respect and love. You see, your opinions, beliefs, and actions should never be an excuse for me to be cruel.
Today, I’m asking that before you speak, you check your heart. You ask yourself the same questions we tell kids to ask themselves- Is it kind, Is it true, and is it necessary? Will it lift people up and change society for the better or are you speaking out of anger and aggression? Are you building up or tearing down?
Let’s pause for a minute and reflect on my morning… Here I am losing my cool over a couple of half- naked kids and some dirty dishes. As I step back and really begin to breathe, I realize my mistake. I put all of my peace in my routine. I wasn’t worshiping in the storm, I was worshiping the storm. I am choosing now to take a new breath, to yet again change course, and get things back on track. I am going to pray and bring all these things before God, and then I’m going to worship with my whole heart.