I tend to take on the cares of those around me. I feel their pain, anxiety, frustration and insecurities. I worry about the things they are concerned with and I struggle with leaving my burdens (and theirs) at God’s feet. Now don’t misunderstand me here, I do know that God can handle them, I’m just pretty sure He appreciates my help.

Often, when someone close to me is struggling in their lives, I don’t sleep. The ability to be able to pray all night long and “fight the good fight” as scripture talks about was like a badge of honor.  

The problem though, is that it was killing me.

Again, I really don’t want to mislead you.  It is good to pray. It’s great to pray all night as the Lord leads but it is most certainly not ok to do this night after night because you’re terrified of the consequences of unspoken words.

I tried to stop the cycle. I really did. I would pray and release things to God and go to bed determined that tonight I would rest, but that’s far from what would happen. Instead I would pray, ask my husband to pray, then toss and turn all night fearing I hadn’t prayed enough,  fearing that things wouldn’t work out because I was not at this moment still praying. (Photo via Pixabay)

So much fear.

I held those burdens so close that I’m not sure that even I could see them clearly. It was like a tug-of-war with the God of the universe for control and although I didn’t really want it, I couldn’t let Him have it either. 

When we hold our worries so tight that we can’t breathe, when we fear that if we release even a tiny part of the issue to anyone else everything will fall apart, it’s too much.

A friend said the most profound thing to me- “Nicki, wouldn’t it be better to sleep in faith than to be praying out of fear”?  “You are so afraid that if you’re not praying every second over every tiny detail that God won’t move on this situation “prayer is good, but faith is better”.

Sleeping in faith vs praying in fear.

Here I was praying incredibly hard but completely not believing that God was listening; praying out of a desperate fear that if I didn’t everything would fall apart. God had never let me down before, yet I was acting as if this time He would.  (Photo via Pixabay)

I certainly should pray for my family and friends, but not like this.

So much faith.

I should be praying out of faith that my God is big enough. My God is able to take this trial no matter how overwhelming and turn it into something beautiful.  I needed to reestablish the trust that God would make good things come of it just as He had so many times before.

I slept well for the first time that night. I told God that I was sorry for the way I had been praying and that tonight- I would be sleeping. Not because the situation was resolved, but because I had faith that God was going to handle it.

I still don’t really like waiting for God to move, but today I’m doing so much better. I’m holding on to God and letting go of the burdens. I’m praying prayers of faith over my family fully trusting that God will come through for us all. (Photo via Pixabay)

So today please pray, pray hard for your family and friends. Give all your burdens to God- but then sleep well. Sleep in faith and let go of your fear.  Trust that God will show up for you just as He has for me and tomorrow will be a little brighter.