Category Archives: Kids and Family

I Fail As A Mom- Do You?

23 Monday Dec 2019

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Do you ever browse social media only to be met by a myriad of posts portraying perfectly baked cookies, clean houses, and smiling families only to look around at your own burned cookies, floors that needed mopped ages ago and kids wrestling in the living room because someone has the remote and someone else wants it and you question every bit of your worth?

Image by Markus Spiske from Pixabay

Listen, I want you to know right  now that sometimes my house only appears clean because I angled the camera just right.

And my cookies usually turn out pretty good but I admit that at some point I burn a pan every single time I bake. It’s almost laughable.

The truth is- when I get on social media I can always find a reason to beat myself up as a mom, friend, wife…

Just looking at all the posts of holiday decorations and cookie platters I start to feel a bit unworthy of the season. I had good intentions too but the Christmas tree skirt is missing this year and so is the angel for the top so my tree is slightly naked. I’ve decided to just concentrate on the middle and not look at the rest.

The truth is comparison always leads to dwindling self esteem and negative self worth.

Image by Sabrina Ripke from Pixabay

I’m not a good mom because I didn’t bake cookies with my kids and I didn’t build a snowman when we had the latest storm like all the other moms on social media did.

There are a lot of I didn’ts in my life…  

If I’m being totally honest sometimes I’m not a good mom at all. Some days I really do stink at this job.

The reality is we all do. We all wake up and fail miserably. We all forget to put food in our kindergartners lunch pail, we forget the costume for the Halloween parade, we forget… but we don’t give up. That’s what makes us great. It’s not that we keep up with the neighbors or that we get on social media and remind ourselves of all that we “should” be doing to be awesome.

Instead it’s those little sleeping faces that we kiss on the cheek after a hard day and the smiles they give us when they wake up in the morning. It’s the giggling about the dinner that didn’t turn out and the pizza that was ordered instead.

It’s the mess that makes the memories.

Image by Aline Ponce from Pixabay

This weekend my son was in the hospital. Apparently he, like his brothers before him, can’t stand the sight of blood. We learned this the hard way when he cut his finger at school and then took a header onto the hard floor.

This lovely minute of time turned into an overnight hospital stay and a long road of recovery for this kid. Concussions are no joke.

He apologized over and over to me. He knew that I had other plans this weekend and a hospital stay was not one of them. But as we talked I told him this- I don’t remember much about the past few weekends and yes I would never choose for him to be hurt, but this weekend, as we lay in that dark hospital room will be one we talk about for years. We will harass him, we will pick on him, we will remember this.

And he will remember that I slept on a really horrible cold couch next to him all night. He will remember that his dad ran to the store for comfy clothes for him to wear, stayed late with us and returned early because he couldn’t stand to be away. We will remember that dad complained about what a rough night it was because the dog kept him up and how we must have had a much better night than him and how he may need us to rub his feet… (insert laughter and a HUGE NO here)

Image by silviarita from Pixabay

Being a good mom has nothing to do with cookies, crafts, vacations, or smiley family pictures. Being a good mom has everything to do with just being there. That’s it. There isn’t a formula, there isn’t a list that has to be completed. It’s just doing your best and loving them through it all.

Stop comparing yourself, stop failing because you don’t look like the perfect facebook family.

Instead, burn the cookies, mess up the crafts and learn to laugh. Be the mom that smiles not the mom that poses for perfect pictures.

Comparison is a thief of our joy.

God didn’t make a mistake, He knew what he was doing when he chose you to be their mom. So, love them well, pray for them always and enjoy life. Cookies will burn, kids will misbehave, and life will go on. 

Just choose to angle your camera to see the good in it all.

Holiday Craziness and the Thanksgiving Chicken

25 Monday Nov 2019

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Ok, so throughout this journey we’ve been pretty honest about the ups and downs of trying to get healthy, we’ve tried to focus on not worrying so much about weight loss and instead being attentive to how our body is feeling both physically and emotionally.

Now that the holidays are upon us I think it’s only right to really focus on enjoying them. We can’t always take ourselves so seriously and some days / years we really do have to learn to go with the flow.

Image by hudsoncrafted from Pixabay

I remember our first Thanksgiving as one of those previously mentioned years. We all know that the first year of marriage is hard (total understatement) and in addition to the normal adjustments that every couple goes through, we moved 18 hours from home. To top that off my husband had been transferred to a new base (he was in the Navy at the time) and we had absolutely no friends or family at all to help ease the transition.

We were married in September of that year and by November I had decided that I was going to make us a real Thanksgiving dinner even if it was just the two of us, so I made my grocery list and my husband and I headed to the store.

What we found when we got to the store is this- All of the turkeys are frozen. All of them. Who knew?

My husband was excited about this meal and was not about to let a little frozen bird get between him and a huge dinner.

Image by Ian Wilson from Pixabay

And to be honest I had never bought or cooked a turkey before. I just assumed that like other poultry that I had prepared I’d just walk in and grab a nice bird and Thanksgiving would go on without a hitch.

You know what they say about assuming…  Anywho…

Thanksgiving did not go on without a hitch.

There was no time left for a Turkey to thaw so we had to improvise. Grabbing the largest chicken we could find we went on our way. We laughed a lot that holiday and although we’ve had many great Thanksgivings together in the midst of some pretty crazy years- that is one that I remember best. The year we sat alone, miles from home, eating our Thanksgiving chicken in our tiny little apartment off the coast of Georgia.

I think the only holiday I remember even better is the one where I caught the turkey on fire in front of about 20+ family members. Lot’s of people still talk about that one.

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

Listen the truth is I don’t remember the years that went perfectly. The memories that are etched in my mind are the ones where things went haywire.

This holiday season, please laugh. Laugh at your mistakes, laugh at the salad that never gets to the table and is found hours after your family has driven away. Laugh at the gift tags that are lost until after the last package is wrapped and you have to use a sharpie marker on the gifts instead of a pretty bow. (Someone almost had a coronary just reading that one… Hehehehe)

Laugh. Relax. Enjoy.

Eat that piece of pie, maybe not the whole pie, but the big piece with the extra whipped cream, eat it. And then really look around- take it all in. The people, the joy, the home, the love. 

Image by Akusmo from Pixabay

Let go of the stress that the holidays bring and embrace them this year. What if you don’t get that handmade Christmas card done?  Listen, I just today had my son grab the melting pumpkins off the porch and throw them away. We just can’t do it all, but we can choose to find the blessing in it all. I’d rather have a boxed card from a friend than to know that my friends are stressed to the limit to create the perfect one. I’d rather have no card at all and to know that my loved ones are curled up on their couches with their families just lovin on each other.

Stop the crazy and choose the moments that truly bring you joy. Make this a holiday season to remember for all the right reasons.

So Happy Thanksgiving to you all. May this holiday season be filled to the brim with love and blessings for you and your family.

I’ve got the BEST news!!!

10 Thursday Oct 2019

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Guys, I’m soooooo excited!  I have the best news, seriously, just doesn’t get much better than this!  I admit, this writing isn’t like the rest, this one is pretty personal, but to be completely honest- it’s the reason we write.

Our Crazy Family

Our family, it’s what keeps us going, it’s what inspires us, drives us crazy, and makes us laugh. It’s why we have the material to write this blog and believe me, they provide an awesome amount of material.

Okay, so on to the amazing news- our family is GROWING! Woo Hoo!!!!  We are going to be GRANDPARENTS AGAIN! (I bet you can’t tell how excited we are can you?)

Our new little pumpkin

Our first little grand-baby has brought us such joy. His giggle, determination, and playful spirit lights up the room. I even love his little miserable frown when he has decided that he doesn’t like what you are saying. “No” brings it on quite quickly… (and often) (He is his father’s son)

Love this little drooly face!

So now we wonder, what will this new baby bring into our lives? Will it be another sweet boy that keeps us on our toes or a precious bundle of pink that is full of cuddles? As you can probably already guess- we really don’t care, but it’s so fun to think about!

I’ll let you know when we know and until then we just wanted to share our joy and excitement with you all!

Letting Go When You Want To Hold On.

03 Sunday Mar 2019

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I didn’t realize that letting go would hurt this much. Sure I knew that time would fly and that in the blink of an eye my sweet babies would be all grown up and moving on in this world. I knew that. I held on tight. I made a point to snuggle as much as I could, to read stories, and have family nights.  I made a point to enjoy every minute. I did all that and it still went by far too fast. I still want just one more day.

 I’ll always want one more.

Photo Via Pixabay

Many years ago on a family vacation to the beach, we passed a cute little street of shops that I really wanted to check out, but after a long day of sandcastles and waves my family was just too tired to join me, all except Zach. He and I headed out and shopped that day. We checked out the souvenir shops, we looked at t-shirts and stuffed animals, seashells, and salt water taffy, then we decided an ice cream break was in order.  We sat at a cute little outdoor table and enjoyed a sundae that was far too big for the little guy that he was and we talked. We talked and talked and talked. Zach and I are both gifted in that art. Now I don’t remember anything we talked about, but I do very clearly remember this- after all the days at the beach, the aquariums we visited, and the adventures we had- I asked the kids what they liked best.  “The ice cream” Zach replied.

Ice cream.

Hours from home, new experiences, and long fun days and it all came down to ice cream. I learned something that day that I will never forget. It isn’t the big things in life that really matter. Instead, it’s the tiniest of moments that come together to make life sweet. It’s laughing around the kitchen table, watching family movies, coloring outside the lines and giggling at inside jokes no one else would understand.

That little boy boarded a plane today. He is flying across the country to join our amazing military. He towers over me now, and I am more proud than I ever imagined possible.  The problem is I struggle not to see the little boy with ice cream all over his face.

Me letting go but wanting to hold on.
Photo credits to my husband on this one.

 I struggle letting go.

Gretchen Rubin says that “The days are long but the years are short.” Oh how right she is. My oldest son and his wife gave birth to their first little boy just a few short months ago. It’s funny how life comes full circle. I watched as one boarded a plane and the other held tight to a brand new life. What a reminder of the blessings each season has to offer.

I realized something else today too. I realized that this new season that is so uncomfortable in the process- will hold the same tremendous hope that the last one did. I know that in time I’ll want this new season to last forever too.  There is so much good mixed in with the tears.

I still have one more son at home with me and he is terrified. He too has realized something in all this.  He knows that he is the last of my babies and that his mom needs something to hold onto.   She needs someone to “mother”. He’s terrified that he will get ALL the mothering that I have to offer and to be honest he’s probably right. So please pray for him he’s going to need it.

If you are struggling with letting go today. I want you to know that you are not alone. We will get through this and we will look back and rejoice at all this new season has to offer, but in the process- if a few tears are necessary, that’s okay too.

Perfectly Imperfect

27 Wednesday Dec 2017

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Here are some pics that didn’t make the social media cut, yet these are the ones I keep going back to. I cut them for the very same reason most women delete pics. I didn’t look the way I wanted to, the people in the pics didn’t look the way I wanted them to, lighting wasn’t great, I wasn’t wearing makeup… enough said. The thing is these are the pics that really portray why Christmas this year has been so perfectly imperfect.

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This pic gets me. We were at my mom’s for Christmas and the living room was quiet. My youngest was sitting on the couch all by himself so I went over and sat down. Pretty soon my middle son came over and joined us. We were all chatting among ourselves when my oldest son squished his way onto the couch. Suddenly, here I was in the middle of the people that matter most, laughing, picking on each other, and talking.  It’s rare anymore with our schedules to have everyone in the same place- but to have them all on the same couch with me, it just doesn’t get any better than that. The pic isn’t perfect, but the memory sure is.

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It was the day after Christmas. I had gotten up and had coffee with my husband. We had gone through the house and gotten some after Christmas cleaning done. Then my husband decided that it would be a great idea to curl up on the couch and watch a movie. I hadn’t showered yet and had a list of things to do, but with a bit of arm twisting I relented. The next thing I know my two little dogs had moved in and my husband had covered us with a blanket. I woke up an hour later and felt amazing. The thing is, we almost lost our little Pug this year. She suddenly developed Diabetes as well as Lymes disease and it wasn’t looking good. I love that naughty little dog. I love snuggling with her. I woke up thinking how blessed we really are.

Perfect? No. Blessed. YES.

This last pic IS perfect.

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I found out that I’m going to be a grandma this year. How exciting is that? When my daughter in-law received this frame, she found that it was slightly crooked and that bothered her. She wanted it to be just right, but to me it already is. I guess it’s like makeup and social media filters, they just make us look better on the outside. Can I tell you something? I can’t even see the crookedness of that frame. I can’t see beyond the inside. That new little life is what matters most.

Sitting on the couch with my boys, coffee with my husband, unexpected naps, and crooked frames all came together to make this Christmas perfect. As this year comes to a close my hope is that the new year will bring many imperfectly wonderful memories for you too!

Starting Over… Again

01 Tuesday Dec 2015

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No milk for breakfast, that’s ok we’ll just have toast today. One son doesn’t want to go school, no problem encourager mom to the rescue. Another son’s interrupting every single conversation my husband and I are trying to have.  No big deal I just patiently tell him to brush his teeth.

What I’m really thinking is- “he won’t be able to talk with a toothbrush in his mouth”.

Then I realize we are also out of dog food, the sink is piled with dishes and there is a broken glass in the broken dishwasher that is now being used as a very expensive drying rack.  One son can’t find underwear, and another can’t find jeans. I now inform my precious  ones that they will either find said clothes or go to school naked, but either way they will be in that car on time.

Encourager mom has now left the building and the new mom who has taken her place has even the pets running in fear. frustrated-mom

At this point I’m beginning to unravel, one tiny thread at a time.  My plan of mother of the year will have to begin again tomorrow.

It’s amazing to me that even after determining in my heart to remain understanding, patient and kind, I can become defeated by 7am.

Now I realize I do have a choice in this. My reactions to the day’s events are all on me, and today my regret list is rapidly growing.

I started out good, I really did, and then inch by inch little things started adding up. None of which were life changing. None are that important. However, each has stolen a little piece of my patience, and I have turned a corner.

Philippians 4:6 says “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

Had I done this? The truth is I had gotten so caught up in all I had to do and all that was happening this morning that I didn’t take the time to go to God.  I skipped the only thing that could have helped me.

As I sit here typing I am thinking of Paul. In Acts chapter 16 we see a picture of him in jail.  He had been stripped, severely beaten, placed in the inner parts of the jail and had his feet placed in the stocks. His attitude in this situation sets me back a bit. The bible says that at midnight he sings, and not a halfhearted song, but a song of true heartfelt worship that actually shakes the shackles right off- literally.

You see, when we truly come to God in all our moments, with all our hearts; when we worship Him with everything we have even when it hurts, things in our lives change. The shackles that are holding us down and stealing our joy- they have to go.

great moms 4Let’s pause for a minute and reflect on my morning… Here I am losing my cool over a couple of half- naked kids and some dirty dishes.  As I step back and really begin to breathe, I realize my mistake. I put all of my peace in my routine. I wasn’t worshiping in the storm, I was worshiping the storm. I am choosing now to take a new breath, to yet again change course, and get things back on track. I am going to pray and bring all these things before God, and then I’m going to worship with my whole heart.

It’s now a bit after 7am and I’m starting over today. I have God, I’m still breathing, and I just noticed that my husband has dressed the kids.

See, things are already looking up.  I’m praying yours looks up too.