Tag Archives: Jesus

Our Journey Back To Health- Don’t Isolate Yourself

10 Wednesday Apr 2019

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One of the things I’ve learned on this journey to health is that trying to do this alone is not very effective. To be honest I don’t like to rely on people. I don’t like vulnerability or sharing my insecurities and I don’t think I’m alone in those feelings. When I began writing this blog I argued with God over every single post. I worried about being judged and critiqued by those I care about because believe me, no one wants to take the skeletons out of that neatly packaged closet.

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Oh but when we do.

When we admit the truth to the journey; when we admit more than the outcome and we share the struggles and the bruises along the way we find healing for more than ourselves. Instead we share our healing with the world around us. 

One of the things I love most about reading the bible is that when I do I find a group of people who the world would most certainly consider failures. Yet in the very midst of their mess they become world changers under the guidance, love, and forgiveness of our God. Imperfect people putting their lives out there for Christ, that’s exactly who I want us to be. Those who are scared, worried, stressed and even vulnerable- we all become powerful in the hands of Christ. What I also noticed is that none of those people did it alone. They needed Jesus and they most definitely needed each other and whether we want to admit it or not we do too.

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It’s not easy allowing others to see those damaged areas of our lives or asking for help when we feel down or are struggling, but if we just let people glimpse the pain then maybe we can all prevail together. Let’s all be honest for a minute. If Jesus did not walk this world alone then how do we expect to? He relied on God and spent time opening his heart to man. He talked with people about their struggles, he prayed, he was let down, he forgave, and he moved forward. Shouldn’t that be the blueprint of our life too? We spend so much time protecting ourselves from the possible pain that opening up might bring that we miss the joy that comes when we decide to finally come out of hiding.

Open up today. Talk to those around you, begin to trust again. Let your life be a beacon of hope instead of a perfectly wrapped package that feels empty inside. When we open up and let others into our situations we fill that gift with all the best things. Hope, endurance, trust, overcoming, friendship and so much more. Will we be let down at times?  Sure, but is that a reason to isolate ourselves? An excuse maybe but not a reason.

Never a reason.

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There is power in our time spent with others. Matthew 18:19 says 19 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. Deuteronomy 32:30 says 30 How could one chase a thousand, And two put ten thousand to flight,” … Isn’t it amazing how much stronger and more effective we are when we join together?  Listen, life is hard enough, why not help each other carry the burdens rather than watch each other struggle through the heavy stuff. I think this verse in Ecclesiastes sums it all up perfectly.

4:9-12 (ESV)’Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

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How many times have you needed lifting up? How many times have you been desperate for someone to stand with you, but you haven’t reached out? What I’m finding is this- When I try to be strong on my own I tend to fall short, but when I rely on others and have people relying on me, I become stronger than I ever imagined I could be on my own.

Find someone to stand with you today. Follow Jesus’s example and surround yourself with people who will help you carry the burden and not heap added weight onto your shoulders. It just may make all the difference.

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It’s time for a little update on our Journey- at this point we are almost 3 months in and I have more energy than I have had in a long time and so does my husband. In fact, Ryan has had a lot less pain in his legs and feet as well. We are still eating as clean as we can and are honestly not craving sugar and processed carbs like we used to. I’m finding new foods that we both love and right before my son left for boot camp he told me that he was loving our new meals. That’s a compliment in itself. Who said eating healthy had to be boring? As for the scale, it’s still coming down. Ryan has lost a total of 18 pounds and I have lost 16. Our clothes are fitting so much better, Ryan has had to move some holes on his belt and I am starting to look for some smaller sizes. And this morning while we were getting around Ryan looked at me and he said the best part is that we CAN keep this up. It’s something we can easily live and not just do for a time. I think finding something that is manageable long term has been one of the most important lessons for us. If you are on this journey today or even thinking about starting a journey for your health too then this is something to consider. Don’t look for a quick fix, don’t find a short term solution to a long term problem. The easy road never leads to lasting change. Instead, be realistic and start with some small changes that can be maintained over time. And don’t try to do everything alone because the truth is we need each other and the best results happen when we have someone beside us along the way.

(As a side note before you begin any plan consult your doctor and be sure that it is the best fit for you.)

Our Journey Back to Health: Managing Stress

10 Sunday Mar 2019

Posted by in Personal Growth

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If you read my blog about my son leaving for boot camp then you know this mommas heart has held so many emotions this month that it is about to burst. Stress is a major enemy in any healthy lifestyle change and although I’m glad to say that we stuck with our healthy eating plan, I struggled big time.

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Food has always been a huge comfort for me, it’s my go to when I have something awesome to celebrate. It’s my companion when I’ve had a rough day and my constant friend when I’m alone.

Watching my son prepare for this new season of his life was amazing, he was ready for it, I was not. I wanted to use food in all the ways I always had. Celebrate this new season, comfort my aching heart, remove the pain of loneliness, ease the reality of letting go. Without my usual go to treats, I was at a bit of a loss. Breaking old habits is hard, creating new ones in the midst of raw emotions… even harder.

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I know this new season will be incredible. I’m always amazed at how God works it all out, but there is pain in the process and I was wanting some sugar to ease it all. To top it off my husband was away at a conference and had no choice but to eat out for most of a week and the way our schedule worked we ended up eating out for 3 days after he got home. It’s a wonder we didn’t gain all the weight back.

But we didn’t.

He ended up only gaining a pound and I didn’t get on the scale. Ignorance is not bliss but I have to be honest here. With all the emotions I was dealing with, I didn’t think I could handle the scale at this moment so I made the decision to take a breath and stay off of it. I decided that instead I would celebrate the fact that we had both stuck to our plan completely. Food cooked at restaurants may not have the same healthy standards that we have at home, so no matter how hard we try weeks like this will come and I knew that I needed to make a decision to be proud of our progress and move forward.  

So how did I deal with the stress? I’ve compiled 5 things that helped me through.

1. I took a lot of hot baths. 

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I spent hours in that tub and when I say hot bath I mean that if I step out of the bath and I can’t see a difference in the parts that were in the water and the parts that were not- we have a problem. (Yes, I do know that scalding hot baths may not be the health choice of the season, but I like it that way and it was better than eating a whole cheesecake which was plan B.)

I needed those baths. This was a time for me to turn all the lights off, light some candles, (I especially love those fake battery operated ones that look real) and turn on some great worship music. As I lay there, praying, worshiping, and sometimes crying, I found some peace. I laced my bath with Epson salts and essential oils, set a nice glass of wine on the side of the tub and soaked until I wrinkled. Those sweet peaceful aromas and that relaxing atmosphere did not take the stress away completely, but it did give me a much-needed reprieve. 

2. A great book is a perfect getaway.

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I love to read, but I don’t take the time for it anymore. So this month I did. I had a couple books that were recommended to me by a ladies book club at my church and I decided to dive in. These books were in the Christian self-help genre and what I found was exactly what I needed. I found encouragement, laughter, tears, and motivation. They were not diet books, they were books for life that held so many nuggets of truth that I had to make more mental notes that I can hold. Currently I’m re-reading one of those books. If I can fill my mind with the good things, then there won’t be room for the bad right? 

3. Prayer works.

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I know that I already mentioned prayer in the bath part of this blog, but this topic needs a section all its own. Prayer gives hope, help and a way to let go of stress. I have always been a praying woman. Lately though, I’ve been distracted in prayer and realized it was time to really refocus. I started writing in my prayer journal again, and I began to truly get alone with God. I need Him always but life gets in the way more than I want to admit. The bible says to give God our cares because he cares for us. How can I give anything to God if I’m not praying. Each time I’d pray- there would be peace. Like most of you, once I was done praying, the peace would fade. Life has a way of doing that to us, so I prayed often and held on tight.

4. Understanding that Good Stress is still stress.

My son leaving was what I would consider good stress. This was his dream, something he fought for, something he had overcome many obstacles to accomplish. I was and am very proud of him and extremely excited for him, but I quickly realized that no matter how “good” this was, I couldn’t control the anxiety it caused. What would my new life look like without him in the day to day?  What was my purpose now that most of my kids were raised and gone?  Who am I without them?  These are not bad questions, but they are stressful ones. I needed to get to a place where asking them didn’t cut like a knife and seem like an ending to a season I adored. Instead I needed to ask them honestly and prayerfully and find a way to see this new season as the beginning of an amazing new chapter.

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5. I need something to look forward too.

I need something to be excited about. It doesn’t have to be expensive or outlandish, it just has to be on the calendar. Something I can shoot for, mark off the days for. My husband and I have “date nights” a couple times a month where we literally just go out to dinner and then get groceries. I know your jealous, (LOL) but hear me out. Just knowing that I have a night away, a night where we will have a quiet dinner, a time to talk, and a reset on our weeks- this gets me through the tough days. In a few weeks we have a whole night away planned and I’m super excited about that as well. It’s amazing how 1 night away can reset a weary soul. What about you?  What works for you?  What doesn’t?  Throughout this journey I’m realizing more and more how unique we all are and how incredibly cool that is. My husband handles stress very differently than I do, instead of a hot bath he sinks deeply into his recliner and gets his mind on a computer game or watches a movie. If life gets overwhelming for him, that’s where you’ll find him. He has been there a lot lately. Letting go is hard. Adjusting to new seasons filled with uncertainty and change- even harder. So we learn to lean into God, we manage our emotions to the best of our ability and we keep moving forward. One step today equals two tomorrow and after a while we look back and we realize how far we’ve come.

Letting Go When You Want To Hold On.

03 Sunday Mar 2019

Posted by in Kids and Family

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I didn’t realize that letting go would hurt this much. Sure I knew that time would fly and that in the blink of an eye my sweet babies would be all grown up and moving on in this world. I knew that. I held on tight. I made a point to snuggle as much as I could, to read stories, and have family nights.  I made a point to enjoy every minute. I did all that and it still went by far too fast. I still want just one more day.

 I’ll always want one more.

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Many years ago on a family vacation to the beach, we passed a cute little street of shops that I really wanted to check out, but after a long day of sandcastles and waves my family was just too tired to join me, all except Zach. He and I headed out and shopped that day. We checked out the souvenir shops, we looked at t-shirts and stuffed animals, seashells, and salt water taffy, then we decided an ice cream break was in order.  We sat at a cute little outdoor table and enjoyed a sundae that was far too big for the little guy that he was and we talked. We talked and talked and talked. Zach and I are both gifted in that art. Now I don’t remember anything we talked about, but I do very clearly remember this- after all the days at the beach, the aquariums we visited, and the adventures we had- I asked the kids what they liked best.  “The ice cream” Zach replied.

Ice cream.

Hours from home, new experiences, and long fun days and it all came down to ice cream. I learned something that day that I will never forget. It isn’t the big things in life that really matter. Instead, it’s the tiniest of moments that come together to make life sweet. It’s laughing around the kitchen table, watching family movies, coloring outside the lines and giggling at inside jokes no one else would understand.

That little boy boarded a plane today. He is flying across the country to join our amazing military. He towers over me now, and I am more proud than I ever imagined possible.  The problem is I struggle not to see the little boy with ice cream all over his face.

Me letting go but wanting to hold on.
Photo credits to my husband on this one.

 I struggle letting go.

Gretchen Rubin says that “The days are long but the years are short.” Oh how right she is. My oldest son and his wife gave birth to their first little boy just a few short months ago. It’s funny how life comes full circle. I watched as one boarded a plane and the other held tight to a brand new life. What a reminder of the blessings each season has to offer.

I realized something else today too. I realized that this new season that is so uncomfortable in the process- will hold the same tremendous hope that the last one did. I know that in time I’ll want this new season to last forever too.  There is so much good mixed in with the tears.

I still have one more son at home with me and he is terrified. He too has realized something in all this.  He knows that he is the last of my babies and that his mom needs something to hold onto.   She needs someone to “mother”. He’s terrified that he will get ALL the mothering that I have to offer and to be honest he’s probably right. So please pray for him he’s going to need it.

If you are struggling with letting go today. I want you to know that you are not alone. We will get through this and we will look back and rejoice at all this new season has to offer, but in the process- if a few tears are necessary, that’s okay too.

Our Journey Back To Health- The Gain

24 Sunday Feb 2019

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Just one week after I finished writing our month one health blog- I gain two pounds. Two pounds!! I didn’t go off plan once, not even once! Incidentally, I’ve learned a few things- #1. You can gain weight eating healthy foods.  #2. Delicious grapes dipped in straight cream cheese needs to be eaten within reason. Now, for those of you who have never tried this delight, don’t knock it till you give it a chance. Month 2 started out with me craving sugar, bread and every single thing we had eliminated from our diet. In order to fight these cravings I decided to have a little bit of the aforementioned treats. I love them, in hindsight though- you can’t tell yourself that you can eat the entire package of cream cheese over a 2 day period along with some extra fried chicken wings and think that you won’t gain a pound.

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I did know better, and although every item I ate was on the list of allowable foods, I fully realized that they were not the best choices. (Insert deep frustrated breath).

In my yo yo dieting days, I would feel wonderful as the weight was coming off, then the minute a pound came back on failure set in and giving up would follow. The old mantra would always begin with “I knew I couldn’t do this. It’s impossible”. “Look at all the people who have failed trying to lose weight and get healthy, if they can’t do it I certainly can’t”.

It never ends.

Today, I welcomed that garbage in like I welcome those Klondike bars in the freezer section of my supermarket. I chewed those thoughts up, swirled them around in my head and feasted on them. As I did, that old failure mentality came crushing back until I slapped it square in the face.

Sometimes you just have to take a stand.

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I stood. (And you may stop reading after you hear this, but in my head a battle raged that I needed to win) So, I pictured myself with a knockout punch to the head of that horrible hate filled monster that was hijacking my thoughts. Hey, I’m a pretty good fighter and I didn’t even know it. 

Seriously though, in the past this set back was my excuse to quit. Those thoughts dragged me right to the kitchen, where I would follow them with a binge like you have not experienced before. I can whip up a mug cake faster than you can read this paragraph and that’s just the appetizer. The chips and dip, the cookies, cheesecake, chocolate covered cherries, the Klondike bars- these are items straight from heaven itself. And because I had “failed” I would eat these things at first to comfort myself but that comfort would soon be replaced by an even greater failure and because I had failed again, I would begin to believe that I didn’t deserve success. (Insert more bad food choices here) Unchecked emotions always lead to another step in the wrong direction. Always.

Can I be honest? I’m embarrassed just reading this back to myself.

However, the truth is the truth, and how can we move forward if we are not honest with ourselves first and then others?

At this point, I needed to figure out how to move forward. One word came to mind and I tried to sucker punch it too but it wouldn’t go away. (Can you see my grumpy face in your head?)

Exercise.

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I don’t have time for this. There must be another way. We were already making time for Ryan to go in to work early a few days a week to exercise with a friend. So that meant me carrying the weight of the morning routine on my shoulders which made for an awesome excuse for me. I mean I didn’t need the exercise as much as him right? And It’s not that I hate it, I just don’t like it. I do on the other hand, hate sports bras, sweat, soar muscles and the time it takes on top of all of the other chores and mom duties that I have on my plate.

This time has to be different, this time I can’t commit to hard core cardio every day, I can’t commit to weight training for hours, I need something doable for me personally. Something that I can measure every day and work within my schedule. Just like fad diets don’t work for me, fad workouts don’t either.

Years ago, I had a cheap watch with a pedometer in it. I loved seeing how many steps I could get in a day.  It broke after about 6 months and I never replaced it. This is where I decided to start so I got on the internet and bought myself a new sports watch. Nothing fancy just something to allow me to monitor my steps each day and to set goals for myself. Will I add some other workouts to the mix?  Sure, but this would allow me to set daily goals that are attainable, can be worked right into my job (what’s an extra trip or two around the building if I am not making my step goal that day?), and it’s something I enjoy. I actually like setting those step goals and trying to see what it takes to beat them.  

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I am winning, not because the scale is turning around, not because I look the way I want to, (neither of these is true at this moment) but I’m winning because today, I broke the pattern. Today I chose a different path, I chose to take the one less traveled, the one with a different script that leads to a different destination. Instead of the cake, I chose the stepper.

So goodbye embarrassment, I refuse to think twice about the crazy in my head. Instead, I’m going to concentrate on the gold medal around my neck. The one that says that I am God’s girl, beautiful, redeemed, hopeful, and thankful.

2 Timothy Says “I fought the good fight, I finished the race, I kept the faith.” That is my new mantra. That is my new script.

Tomorrow I’ll take another step forward and one day I will win this race.

Our Journey Back To Health- Month 1

19 Tuesday Feb 2019

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Recently my husband and I decided to embark on a healthy weight loss journey. Honestly, neither of us was very excited to begin this journey, but we both agreed that it needed to be done.  And not for vanity sake either, we both hadn’t felt well in a very long time and we knew that our diet was contributing to the problem. (Okay, in the spirit of full disclosure, this decision may have had an element of vanity attached.)

In the past I have often called my husband my own personal “diet killer”. We would start a diet in the morning, and he would bake brownies, buy cookies, and take me out for a special ice cream that night. He has a gift.

This time though we decided to change our eating habits a bit differently.  We looked at what was making us feel bad physically and we eliminated those things. Here are some tips that made our first month successful.

  1. Meal Planning:
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Photo Via Pixabay

Every week my husband and I sit down and we find meals that fit our new plan. We have decided that for us counting calories and worrying about proportions just won’t work. Since we are trying to make a permanent change, we needed something that we could do anywhere easily. We would plan healthy meals that consisted of mostly meat and veggies. In a nutshell, we decided to give up bread, pasta, and sugar. This plan isn’t for everyone, we prayed about what would be best for us and decided that this was something that we could maintain long term. My husband eliminated oatmeal from his diet as well. When he eats oatmeal his sugar spikes, I on the other hand have no trouble with it what so ever and so I eat it sparingly, usually when he isn’t around.

  1. Goal setting:

We set some short and long-term goals all while allowing us some rewards and fun in the process. For example- on Valentine’s day a friend invited us to come along for a date night at a local venue. For one fee, we could enjoy an appetizer of cheese fondue, a meal of steak, chicken and veggies, along with chocolate fondue for dessert. In between enjoying the food, the men would create flower arrangements for us, while we got to put together a nice bottle of massage oil for them. Oooo laa laa. Together my husband and I decided that since this special date night was about a month and a half into our new lifestyle we would plan for this to be a night of reward. IF, we stuck to our new plan we would allow ourselves to celebrate. We decided not to call it a cheat night. I hate that word and it isn’t cheating, it’s celebrating how well we had done. We also decided that IF we failed to stick to the plan, we would cancel the night. Listen, for us we needed both the incentive and the consequence.

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What we didn’t do was put a weekly weight loss amount on our plan. If we were hungry, we chose foods like fruit, veggies, nuts, anything on the plan would work.

My husband does not view the scale like I do. To him the number on the scale is just that. A number. For me the number sometimes means that I have failed, that I have not made good choices and that I am ugly. Like I said earlier, full disclosure. This leads me to the next tip.

  1. Change our (my) thoughts:

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I needed success to be measured by each day doing something healthy for my body. I needed to change my thoughts, change my heart and start telling myself each day that I was who God said I was and not be defined by the scale. I needed to re-see those numbers and realize that they may be an indication that I need to make some healthier choices, but they are not any indication of my worth. To do this I knew that I needed to study God’s word in this area. I needed to see what He had to say about me so that I could unravel years of wrong thinking. It’s unbelievable how much we grow up learning to agree with the world instead of God. So, I found scriptures about my worth, my beauty, and how much I am loved. The world says I need to fit a standard to have value, God says I have more value than the world can count.

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I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again- progress over perfection is where I’m at. I am making progress in this area, but there is so much more work to be done. I easily slip back into my old habits and thoughts. I recently did some research on how long it takes to break a habit and create a new one. What I found was very revealing. The facts showed that it takes anywhere from 21 days to a year to truly create a new habit. Not so shocking is that the number of days it took was very personal. Each of us is an individual and our bodies and minds are individual too.

results
Photo Via Pixabay

Month 1 results: (Yes, I did say that I have issues with the scale- I didn’t say I wouldn’t be getting on it. Although I need to see the big picture in all this, I do need to visit this little piece from time to time.)

I’m very happy to report that the best result is this- We both feel so much better. We have more energy and have found that we are really enjoying our new meals. We look for recipes that appeal to us and have added some new favorites to our menu.

Moreover, yes, we have both lost weight. I have lost 8 pounds, my husband 9.  Our jeans are already fitting better and to be completely honest I haven’t felt like it’s a diet. Instead, I find myself excited to see what’s next. We have had some days that were hard and we will talk about those in the upcoming weeks, but all in all this process has been a really, really, positive one.

Resisting Temptation

28 Thursday Jun 2018

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All I was doing was looking for a recipe. Just a simple chicken something for dinner, but when I logged into my computer I was faced with a dilemma- lose 10lbs in 6 days sitting right next to a link to a pretty delightful looking cinnamon bun cake dripping in icing.

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Forget the chicken, it’s summer and losing 10 pounds sounds amazing… right after I try that cake.

Why is it that we fight so hard to do what’s right and so often feel slapped in the face with every temptation and desire?  I don’t know about you but I’m sick of it. (Photo via Pixabay)

So how do we resist temptation?

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The bible says that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (see Philippians 4) I could use a bit more of that strength. And although I do know I need to rely on Christ for the strength He promises me, I’m also realizing that I have a part to play. I can’t just sit back in my recliner and let God do the work. There are things that are required of me in all this. If I want permanent change in my life then I have to do some permanent work. A body builder doesn’t become strong by sitting back and trusting God to build those muscles- instead he or she goes to the gym and puts the time in. A farmer doesn’t sit at his breakfast table and believe in faith for a great crop if he has never sown a seed. (Photo via Pixabay)

We also have to put the work in if we want to see results in our own lives. God will do His part- will we do ours?

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1 Corinthians 10:13  says this about temptation- 13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. (Photo via Pixabay)

We can handle temptation. It’s awesome to know that God has already made sure of it. Besides not letting us be tempted beyond what we can handle- He is also going to show us a way out so that we can make it through. And although I’m using food as my example today- we all know that it goes much deeper than that. Temptations have ruined families, destroyed careers, and caused good people to do things they never intended.

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Resisting temptation is far from easy, but it is doable. The question for us today is will we do what it takes? Will we build our muscles to a point where temptation has no hope?  Will we sow the seeds of God’s word so deep in the soil of our lives that when we are faced with temptation it will have nowhere to grow because God’s word will already be taking up the space? (Photo via Pixabay)

God has already done His part. He’s given us every tool. Will we do ours?  The work is hard, but the results are worth it.

As for me- I went back to the chicken. Not happily back, but back. I didn’t want chicken anymore, I wanted to lose 10 pounds while eating the cinnamon bun cake extra icing please. Temptation offers us the world, but never delivers on it’s promises. God offers us the tools, but asks us to be a part of the process. Today- I chose the chicken instead of the cake. Hey, small victories are still victories, and even though the muscles may be small today, tomorrow the results will be unbeatable.

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What Good are Scars?

04 Monday Jul 2016

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A few months ago I was hurriedly staining trim boards for my son’s bedroom and I began to notice how just a tiny bit of stain started to change the whole look of the wood. Every knot, line, and bruise- they all became visible, and although they are the imperfections of the wood, they really are the best part. They give it character, life, and tell a story.

I want to be like that piece of wood. I don’t want my scars to be something that I’m afraid to show the world.

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Scars can be beautiful.

They tell a story of healing, of coming out of trials and tragedies, overcoming weaknesses, and living to tell the tale.

They are our testimony to the world. We can do this life.

I love reading about Thomas in the bible. Most call him “doubting Thomas” because Jesus had to show him His scars for Thomas to believe. I’m like that too. I need to see the scars of the people who have come before me in order to overcome some things myself. I want to know that others dealt with hurts, unfairness, obstacles and tribulations and still made it.

I need to know.

The problem is we live in a world where we cover our scars. We don’t want people to see our weaknesses or look at the mistakes we’ve made. Instead, we paint a picture of perfection on our social media sites. We smile for the camera and we hide the very scars that could set another free.

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I think it’s time we showed our scars. It’s time we talk about them, not in fear of judgment, but in hope of helping another struggling soul. There is someone out there just like Thomas, someone who is waiting to see your scars so that theirs can heal.

Today, the wood I was staining is all done. My husband has hung it on the walls of my son’s bedroom and it is truly beautiful. Each piece placed next to the other forms such a pretty finish to the room.

That’s how we should be.  We should be a great finish for each other. We should be open, honest, raw and real. We should carry each other’s burdens and lift each other up.

I now look at scars differently. They are a badge of honor in my life because they prove that I am an overcomer. They are a list of trials that didn’t stop me, hurts I didn’t give into, and signs of hope that when the next battle occurs, I will make it through that too.

Today, I pray that you will look at your scars the way that I do. No longer will you look at them as a list of life’s struggles, instead they will be your testimony of hope that you gift to the world around you.

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Just like Thomas, we will touch each other’s scars and not only will we find answers there, we will find hope, help, support and love, and we will grow. The scars will no longer define us; instead they will set us free.

You are free today.  It’s time to uncover your scars so that others may be free as well.

I’m Hungry…

29 Tuesday Mar 2016

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What would happen if you only ate a meal once a week?

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Even if the meal was perfect, nourishing, and wholesome, we know that our bodies would not function well. We would grow weak, tired, and eventually sick. Our bodies are created to eat every single day and when this doesn’t happen there is a consequence.

Have you ever thought of your relationship with Jesus in this way?  We go to church once or twice a week and we assume that it’s enough.

Can I be honest with you? Most of us are spiritually starving.

No matter how amazing our pastors are they can’t possibly “feed us” enough of God on a Sunday morning to sustain us; certainly not enough for us to grow and change and become all that God intended for us to become.

Think about it like this:

We love our spouses but if the only form of communication we had was to listen to someone else talk about them once or twice a week, our relationships would quickly dwindle.

Now don’t get me wrong, friends and pastors are great. We need to surround ourselves with people who will lead us in the right direction.

The problem is many of us are relying on these people to BE our relationship with Jesus. We don’t dig in ourselves; we don’t spend personal time with God.

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How is your husband?  Well, my friend says he’s was doing well. How is your relationship? The pastor says he loves me, wants a future with me, so that’s good right?

If I treated my husband this way, we’d slowly drift apart. Our relationship would no longer be built on the quality time we spend together. Instead, it would be built on someone else’s word over our lives and that would never be enough. 

This sounds so ridiculous to us, we’d never treat our spouse like this, yet we treat our God like this every day.

Do you really want change in your life?  Do you really want peace and hope and love and all the wonderful things that Christ offers us?

bible time
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If this is your desire then there is a simple formula. Treat Christ like you would someone you cherish. Spend time with Him, talk with Him, read His word, find out about Him.

We can’t expect our relationships to improve through someone else’s work.  We have to be the ones to do the heavy lifting. Today let’s change the way we treat our relationship with God. Let’s grow in it and let it change us. Let’s quit relying on someone else and dig into the deep things that Christ has for us with our own hands and more importantly our whole hearts.

Sadly, there is an intimacy with Christ that few get to experience, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

All relationships take time, work, and commitment; it’s just the way it is. Today, let’s put the time in, let’s do the work, let’s make the commitment and watch as our intimacy with Christ soars. No more spiritual starvation, today we enter into the fullness of God.

Hope for the Hopeless

01 Friday Jan 2016

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Here I was watching the world continue on around me while mine seemed to be falling apart in every direction. I had found myself very seriously wondering if I was ever going to wake up from the nightmare I was in. I felt hurt, attacked, and watched almost like a spectator as my life literally changed in a moment and I was suddenly traversing waters I never intended to cross.

It was during this time that I began having anxiety attacks, attacks that rendered me useless and always seemed to choose the worst times to begin and would last for what seemed like hours. To say that an end was NOT in sight was an understatement. To make matters worse, I couldn’t find hope that anything good could come from my life.woman-1006102_1280

Finally, I made the choice to seek God in a way I never had before. It was Him or nothing, all or none. I was at a crossroads and the direction I chose would change my life.

I told God that I would not give up and I would not give in, I would love Him if nothing in my life got any better. I admit, I wasn’t sure I was telling the truth.

Trusting anyone, including a God that had allowed this heartache in my life seemed like an impossibility. I mean- if God is so big and strong and loves us so much, then why had He allowed these things?

I had been faithful, I prayed daily, I went to church. I did all the “right” things- yet my life had still ended up here.

Could I really still believe that God cared, that He still had good things planned for me?

sadThere is a scripture in the book of Romans (8:28 to be exact) that says “all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”

I asked myself often how anyone could take this mess of my life and make anything good come from it. I chose against all odds and circumstances to believe this scripture.

It was this small decision that would carry me through the months ahead.

I would like to say that things got dramatically better. I’m sorry to say that the “better” would not come for many years. It did eventually come, and that is what I want you to know.

No matter the length of the road we travel- there is an end to our struggle. You see, our God is awesome, He never left my side. My road was very long and extremely steep but at the end I was freed from the hurt and pain. I was released from the anxiety and struggle. God was with me through it all and although at times I wondered if giving up would have been easier- I watched as God showed up in my life more than I had ever experienced Him before. Galatians

He carried me through it all and yes, He still had a purpose for me.

I want you to know today that He still has a purpose for you too. No matter what your life is like right now, no matter how long your road or what you’ve done, God still loves you, He still waits for you. He longs to talk with you and show you the way out. He longs to take all the mess and make something good come of it.  It’s time to give it all to God, time to choose a new path, and time to see the good that God has planned for you.

I’ve been in the valley, and I’m here to tell you that as long as you don’t give up then your breakthrough is straight ahead. Dare to believe God even when it seems impossible. I’ve been where you are, I’m praying for you today, and I know that with God, nothing will be impossible.

Starting Over… Again

01 Tuesday Dec 2015

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No milk for breakfast, that’s ok we’ll just have toast today. One son doesn’t want to go school, no problem encourager mom to the rescue. Another son’s interrupting every single conversation my husband and I are trying to have.  No big deal I just patiently tell him to brush his teeth.

What I’m really thinking is- “he won’t be able to talk with a toothbrush in his mouth”.

Then I realize we are also out of dog food, the sink is piled with dishes and there is a broken glass in the broken dishwasher that is now being used as a very expensive drying rack.  One son can’t find underwear, and another can’t find jeans. I now inform my precious  ones that they will either find said clothes or go to school naked, but either way they will be in that car on time.

Encourager mom has now left the building and the new mom who has taken her place has even the pets running in fear. frustrated-mom

At this point I’m beginning to unravel, one tiny thread at a time.  My plan of mother of the year will have to begin again tomorrow.

It’s amazing to me that even after determining in my heart to remain understanding, patient and kind, I can become defeated by 7am.

Now I realize I do have a choice in this. My reactions to the day’s events are all on me, and today my regret list is rapidly growing.

I started out good, I really did, and then inch by inch little things started adding up. None of which were life changing. None are that important. However, each has stolen a little piece of my patience, and I have turned a corner.

Philippians 4:6 says “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

Had I done this? The truth is I had gotten so caught up in all I had to do and all that was happening this morning that I didn’t take the time to go to God.  I skipped the only thing that could have helped me.

As I sit here typing I am thinking of Paul. In Acts chapter 16 we see a picture of him in jail.  He had been stripped, severely beaten, placed in the inner parts of the jail and had his feet placed in the stocks. His attitude in this situation sets me back a bit. The bible says that at midnight he sings, and not a halfhearted song, but a song of true heartfelt worship that actually shakes the shackles right off- literally.

You see, when we truly come to God in all our moments, with all our hearts; when we worship Him with everything we have even when it hurts, things in our lives change. The shackles that are holding us down and stealing our joy- they have to go.

great moms 4Let’s pause for a minute and reflect on my morning… Here I am losing my cool over a couple of half- naked kids and some dirty dishes.  As I step back and really begin to breathe, I realize my mistake. I put all of my peace in my routine. I wasn’t worshiping in the storm, I was worshiping the storm. I am choosing now to take a new breath, to yet again change course, and get things back on track. I am going to pray and bring all these things before God, and then I’m going to worship with my whole heart.

It’s now a bit after 7am and I’m starting over today. I have God, I’m still breathing, and I just noticed that my husband has dressed the kids.

See, things are already looking up.  I’m praying yours looks up too.