Do you ever browse social media only to be met by a myriad of posts portraying perfectly baked cookies, clean houses, and smiling families only to look around at your own burned cookies, floors that needed mopped ages ago and kids wrestling in the living room because someone has the remote and someone else wants it and you question every bit of your worth?
Listen, I want you to know right now that sometimes my house only appears clean because I angled the camera just right.
And my cookies usually turn out pretty good but I admit that at some point I burn a pan every single time I bake. It’s almost laughable.
The truth is- when I get on social media I can always find a reason to beat myself up as a mom, friend, wife…
Just looking at all the posts of holiday decorations and cookie platters I start to feel a bit unworthy of the season. I had good intentions too but the Christmas tree skirt is missing this year and so is the angel for the top so my tree is slightly naked. I’ve decided to just concentrate on the middle and not look at the rest.
The truth is comparison always leads to dwindling self esteem and negative self worth.
I’m not a good mom because I didn’t bake cookies with my kids and I didn’t build a snowman when we had the latest storm like all the other moms on social media did.
There are a lot of I didn’ts in my life…
If I’m being totally honest sometimes I’m not a good mom at all. Some days I really do stink at this job.
The reality is we all do. We all wake up and fail miserably. We all forget to put food in our kindergartners lunch pail, we forget the costume for the Halloween parade, we forget… but we don’t give up. That’s what makes us great. It’s not that we keep up with the neighbors or that we get on social media and remind ourselves of all that we “should” be doing to be awesome.
Instead it’s those little sleeping faces that we kiss on the cheek after a hard day and the smiles they give us when they wake up in the morning. It’s the giggling about the dinner that didn’t turn out and the pizza that was ordered instead.
It’s the mess that makes the memories.
This weekend my son was in the hospital. Apparently he, like his brothers before him, can’t stand the sight of blood. We learned this the hard way when he cut his finger at school and then took a header onto the hard floor.
This lovely minute of time turned into an overnight hospital stay and a long road of recovery for this kid. Concussions are no joke.
He apologized over and over to me. He knew that I had other plans this weekend and a hospital stay was not one of them. But as we talked I told him this- I don’t remember much about the past few weekends and yes I would never choose for him to be hurt, but this weekend, as we lay in that dark hospital room will be one we talk about for years. We will harass him, we will pick on him, we will remember this.
And he will remember that I slept on a really horrible cold couch next to him all night. He will remember that his dad ran to the store for comfy clothes for him to wear, stayed late with us and returned early because he couldn’t stand to be away. We will remember that dad complained about what a rough night it was because the dog kept him up and how we must have had a much better night than him and how he may need us to rub his feet… (insert laughter and a HUGE NO here)
Being a good mom has nothing to do with cookies, crafts, vacations, or smiley family pictures. Being a good mom has everything to do with just being there. That’s it. There isn’t a formula, there isn’t a list that has to be completed. It’s just doing your best and loving them through it all.
Stop comparing yourself, stop failing because you don’t look like the perfect facebook family.
Instead, burn the cookies, mess up the crafts and learn to laugh. Be the mom that smiles not the mom that poses for perfect pictures.
Comparison is a thief of our joy.
God didn’t make a mistake, He knew what he was doing when he chose you to be their mom. So, love them well, pray for them always and enjoy life. Cookies will burn, kids will misbehave, and life will go on.
Just choose to angle your camera to see the good in it all.