I tend to take on the cares of those around me. I feel their pain, anxiety, frustration and insecurities. I worry about the things they are concerned with and I struggle with leaving my burdens (and theirs) at God’s feet. Now don’t misunderstand me here, I do know that God can handle them, I’m just pretty sure He appreciates my help.

Often, when someone close to me is struggling in their lives, I don’t sleep. The ability to be able to pray all night long and “fight the good fight” as scripture talks about was like a badge of honor.  

The problem though, is that it was killing me.

Again, I really don’t want to mislead you.  It is good to pray. It’s great to pray all night as the Lord leads but it is most certainly not ok to do this night after night because you’re terrified of the consequences of unspoken words.

I tried to stop the cycle. I really did. I would pray and release things to God and go to bed determined that tonight I would rest, but that’s far from what would happen. Instead I would pray, ask my husband to pray, then toss and turn all night fearing I hadn’t prayed enough,  fearing that things wouldn’t work out because I was not at this moment still praying. (Photo via Pixabay)

So much fear.

I held those burdens so close that I’m not sure that even I could see them clearly. It was like a tug-of-war with the God of the universe for control and although I didn’t really want it, I couldn’t let Him have it either. 

When we hold our worries so tight that we can’t breathe, when we fear that if we release even a tiny part of the issue to anyone else everything will fall apart, it’s too much.

A friend said the most profound thing to me- “Nicki, wouldn’t it be better to sleep in faith than to be praying out of fear”?  “You are so afraid that if you’re not praying every second over every tiny detail that God won’t move on this situation “prayer is good, but faith is better”.

Sleeping in faith vs praying in fear.

Here I was praying incredibly hard but completely not believing that God was listening; praying out of a desperate fear that if I didn’t everything would fall apart. God had never let me down before, yet I was acting as if this time He would.  (Photo via Pixabay)

I certainly should pray for my family and friends, but not like this.

So much faith.

I should be praying out of faith that my God is big enough. My God is able to take this trial no matter how overwhelming and turn it into something beautiful.  I needed to reestablish the trust that God would make good things come of it just as He had so many times before.

I slept well for the first time that night. I told God that I was sorry for the way I had been praying and that tonight- I would be sleeping. Not because the situation was resolved, but because I had faith that God was going to handle it.

I still don’t really like waiting for God to move, but today I’m doing so much better. I’m holding on to God and letting go of the burdens. I’m praying prayers of faith over my family fully trusting that God will come through for us all. (Photo via Pixabay)

So today please pray, pray hard for your family and friends. Give all your burdens to God- but then sleep well. Sleep in faith and let go of your fear.  Trust that God will show up for you just as He has for me and tomorrow will be a little brighter.

I’m not really a very high maintenance girl. In fact sweatpants and a t-shirt are some of my favorite cloths; pair those with a hair tie and honey I’m down right happy.  There are however certain times that this look is not what I’m going for…

As I was getting ready for work one morning, I proceeded through my routine. I took my shower, got dressed, did my hair and headed off for the breakfast table where I would begin the process of getting my children into the car without losing every bit of my cool.

Everything was going off without a hitch. We loaded our kids into the cars, looked at the clock and realized we were early. A bit of pride took over and I did a little happy dance in my head, patting myself on the back for finally having it altogether.

It was at this point that I had reached the end of our road and decided to flip down the visor and check my makeup one last time.  What I saw was a very clean makeup free face and yes, I admit it, I panicked. Now there are many times that I don’t wear makeup, but heading off to work is not one of those times.

Judge me if you want, but I whipped that car around and headed for home.

As I passed my husband’s car, I rolled down the window and very sweetly said to him “Will you look at this face? How In the world did I get out of that house today with no make- up on without any of you telling me?”

My husband is not a stupid man. He knows a trap when he sees one, and to him this was a dangerous one. “Oh honey you don’t need make up, we can’t even tell you don’t have it on. You look beautiful.”

How many of you know that there is always a little voice of truth in every situation?

Mine chose this moment to speak up. My youngest son who was sitting in the seat beside me leaned forward and proclaimed to his father that “Dad you might not be able to tell from over there but wow, you should see her up close”.

Yes, he is still grounded and yes so is his father who found that quite funny.

As for me, I did manage to run home that day, put a little make-up on my face, and still get to work on time. But I realized something in all this, besides the fact that I should keep a bit of makeup stashed away for emergencies, I, like the world, have a few blemishes that I’m desperately trying to cover up. The closer I am to the world, the more I see them. They shout out at me from every corner.

Too often I look in the mirror and base my worth on what the world says I should be; thinner, prettier, younger, more successful… blemishes.

Yet the closer I am to God the more I am swept away by His grace.  When I look to Him I see perfection; perfect peace, perfect joy, and perfect hope. Perfect. The more I look to Him, the more the storms begin to calm and the blemishes begin to disappear.

Today, I’m choosing to look in a different mirror. I’m choosing to look at myself through Jesus. He has cleaned me up, removed those blemishes and set me on a better path.  2^nd Corinthians chapter 5 says that because of Him, I’m a new creation.  I no longer have to worry about what the world says about me or even what I say about myself.

To the world, I will always fall short, but with Jesus I can break the hold that the mirror had on me.  With God I can rest assured that He is the one that created me and has now given me the ability to look in that same mirror and know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Do I still keep an emergency stash of make-up?  Yes, I admit it, I do.  BUT, there’s a difference now. You see, when I look in the mirror today, I see the improvements that God is making in me. I don’t need to cover the blemishes of the world, I just need to reach out for Him and let the things of the world pass away before me.

So how about it, are you ready for some freedom today?  Have you had enough of the pressures and the judgments of the world? If so- put that eyeliner down and reach for God. Tell Him how much you need Him and then let Him work in your life. Let’s have a few make-up free days together.