• About Me
  • Video Messages

Tag Archives: help

Marriage Monday: Should I Respect My Partner Even If They Don’t Deserve It?

09 Monday Dec 2019

Posted by Nicole Schrader in marriage

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

faith, help, hope, husband, Jesus, marriage, married, respect, wedding, wife

Respect is earned, that’s for sure. So why should you ever be respectful of your partner if your partner is not respectful of you?

 I have to be honest here. I was the most disrespectful wife. The walls I had put up even before we married gave me the gift of a sharp tongue and a nasty disposition. I was owed something in this life and I let my husband know it. I didn’t trust easily and I wasn’t about to let my guard down.

Image by Luisella Planeta Leoni from Pixabay

 Did I deserve respect? I’m so embarrassed to admit this but the truth is I didn’t, not even a little. Thankfully, God had given Ryan the gift of forgiveness. He was able to look past my faults and love me anyway. He looked for things to appreciate about me and I’m sure if he were honest he would say that sometimes he had to search pretty hard.

Over time I softened and began to treat him with honor and respect as well.

We reap what we sow.

Ryan reaped respect because he had sown it for years. I reaped many ridiculously hard days because of my poor attitude. Today you choose which side you’re on. Your partner may not be worthy of respect either but you can still decide to give it.

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

God says that respect is a must. The dictionary describes it as a deep feeling of admiration for someone’s abilities. It changes us to know that someone actually believes in us like that. It was Ryan’s ability to think so highly of me when I knew I didn’t deserve it, that caused me to want to live up to that belief.

Today choose to be respectful of your spouse. Choose to focus on the good in them and start right where you are. Sow today what you want to reap tomorrow and you will reap great rewards in your relationship.

  • Just a little disclaimer here too- we fully realize that some situations may not fit the parameters of this blog. Certainly we don’t condone abuse of any kind and are not claiming that any of you should respect abusers. In fact, we encourage anyone who may be in an unhealthy or abusive situation to seek professional help. Our situation was neither abusive or unhealthy, we were just stubborn people with bad attitudes that needed work on our issues.

Ephesians 5:33

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Prayer: Lord, show me how to better respect my spouse. Open my eyes to all of the great qualities that you have given them and help me to respect them for it. You say that respect is a must; I know there are many areas that I have fallen short in regards to respect. Please help me to do better beginning today. In Jesus name, Amen.

Share this:

  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
Like Loading...

Holiday Craziness and the Thanksgiving Chicken

25 Monday Nov 2019

Posted by Nicole Schrader in Kids and Family

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

help, Holiday stress, hope, Humor, Jesus, Thanksgiving

Ok, so throughout this journey we’ve been pretty honest about the ups and downs of trying to get healthy, we’ve tried to focus on not worrying so much about weight loss and instead being attentive to how our body is feeling both physically and emotionally.

Now that the holidays are upon us I think it’s only right to really focus on enjoying them. We can’t always take ourselves so seriously and some days / years we really do have to learn to go with the flow.

Image by hudsoncrafted from Pixabay

I remember our first Thanksgiving as one of those previously mentioned years. We all know that the first year of marriage is hard (total understatement) and in addition to the normal adjustments that every couple goes through, we moved 18 hours from home. To top that off my husband had been transferred to a new base (he was in the Navy at the time) and we had absolutely no friends or family at all to help ease the transition.

We were married in September of that year and by November I had decided that I was going to make us a real Thanksgiving dinner even if it was just the two of us, so I made my grocery list and my husband and I headed to the store.

What we found when we got to the store is this- All of the turkeys are frozen. All of them. Who knew?

My husband was excited about this meal and was not about to let a little frozen bird get between him and a huge dinner.

Image by Ian Wilson from Pixabay

And to be honest I had never bought or cooked a turkey before. I just assumed that like other poultry that I had prepared I’d just walk in and grab a nice bird and Thanksgiving would go on without a hitch.

You know what they say about assuming…  Anywho…

Thanksgiving did not go on without a hitch.

There was no time left for a Turkey to thaw so we had to improvise. Grabbing the largest chicken we could find we went on our way. We laughed a lot that holiday and although we’ve had many great Thanksgivings together in the midst of some pretty crazy years- that is one that I remember best. The year we sat alone, miles from home, eating our Thanksgiving chicken in our tiny little apartment off the coast of Georgia.

I think the only holiday I remember even better is the one where I caught the turkey on fire in front of about 20+ family members. Lot’s of people still talk about that one.

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

Listen the truth is I don’t remember the years that went perfectly. The memories that are etched in my mind are the ones where things went haywire.

This holiday season, please laugh. Laugh at your mistakes, laugh at the salad that never gets to the table and is found hours after your family has driven away. Laugh at the gift tags that are lost until after the last package is wrapped and you have to use a sharpie marker on the gifts instead of a pretty bow. (Someone almost had a coronary just reading that one… Hehehehe)

Laugh. Relax. Enjoy.

Eat that piece of pie, maybe not the whole pie, but the big piece with the extra whipped cream, eat it. And then really look around- take it all in. The people, the joy, the home, the love. 

Image by Akusmo from Pixabay

Let go of the stress that the holidays bring and embrace them this year. What if you don’t get that handmade Christmas card done?  Listen, I just today had my son grab the melting pumpkins off the porch and throw them away. We just can’t do it all, but we can choose to find the blessing in it all. I’d rather have a boxed card from a friend than to know that my friends are stressed to the limit to create the perfect one. I’d rather have no card at all and to know that my loved ones are curled up on their couches with their families just lovin on each other.

Stop the crazy and choose the moments that truly bring you joy. Make this a holiday season to remember for all the right reasons.

So Happy Thanksgiving to you all. May this holiday season be filled to the brim with love and blessings for you and your family.

Share this:

  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
Like Loading...

Marriage Monday- The Peace That Comes With Accountability

28 Monday Oct 2019

Posted by Nicole Schrader in marriage

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

accountablilty, faith, help, honesty, hope, Jesus, marriage, married, trust, wedding

Do you call your spouse when you are going to be late? Does your spouse have the passwords for your email, social media, or cell phone? Why should they?

Image by Jeff Klugiewicz from Pixabay

Honestly-why shouldn’t they?

Unless you have something to hide, there should be no reason to not allow your spouse access to any of these items and more. Talk about causing us to think twice before we send a text to someone that might be outside the realm of what we would want our spouse to read. Phew…

Accountability is incredibly important in a marriage. Knowing we can count on our spouse in both word and deed is huge. On the other hand, hiding things from our spouse allows questions and insecurities to seep into the folds of our relationship. It’s not an issue of personal space; it’s an issue of honesty and trust.

If I get a text message and my husband is right there- he checks it. I do the same for him. Our phones, computers, and lives are just out there for the other to see. Because of that my husband doesn’t question me when something comes up. Accountability and Trust go hand in hand and there is no one’s trust that matters more to me than his. If I go shopping and I overspend, I show him the receipt. Why hide it? Listen, I’d rather have a solid foundation for our relationship to springboard off of than a receipt I hid in the trash and now have to worry about “getting caught”.

Image by congerdesign from Pixabay

We hear people complain every day that “my wife / husband” should just trust me and I shouldn’t have to show them anything.  Let us put it to you this way, if our kids get quiet, if they start being secretive, we start looking. When their bedroom door is wide open, we don’t tend to stop what we are doing to check the situation out do we? By keeping our relationship wide open, the same is true. I don’t get on my husband’s phone and look through it, I could, but why bother? He leaves it right there for me to see and when I am on it – you get the idea.

Listen, we are the least perfect people in this world, but I really believe that this is one thing we do right. So many people today are stuck on fair vs unfair… Why should I… how dare they not trust me?… the list goes on and on. Our pride is our biggest downfall and some have lost marriages over it. Enough is enough, build trust, build accountability and build a marriage that lasts. If you have something to hide, your relationship will suffer. Stop hiding, start rebuilding trust and watch your relationship flourish as a result.

Scripture Reference:

1 Corinthians 13:6- Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

Proverbs 20:7- The righteous lead blameless lives; blessed are their children after them.

Prayer:

Lord, help us to be accountable to our spouse. Let us become more aware of the importance of allowing ourselves to be transparent in our behavior both in public and private situations. Help us to show our spouse that they are truly the most important person in our lives. In Jesus name, Amen

Share this:

  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
Like Loading...

Marriage Monday: Start Studying Your Partner!

21 Monday Oct 2019

Posted by Nicole Schrader in marriage

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

couples, Dating, faith, help, hope, Jesus, love, marriage, married, wedding, wedding inspiration

How would you feel if your spouse got up today and without saying a word began to do all those little tasks that you’ve wanted done for so long? I get warm fuzzies just thinking about it. The problem is- we are always waiting for the other guy to do these things. It’s an “I’ll do for them once they start doing for me” mentality and that just doesn’t work.

Photo Via Pixabay

It isn’t a coincidence that one of the most powerful ways we can show our love for our spouse is by putting their needs ahead of our own. Instead of watching that TV show, we get them their coffee. Instead of that hot bath we desperately need, we help our spouse with a chore they wanted to get done. Watch what happens in our relationships as we begin looking for ways to care for our partner.

I remember when my husband and I were dating, I used to pay attention to everything. I could tell you all of Ryan’s favorite things. I may have even been a bit over the top about it all. Ahhhh, young love… Today, I’m not sure I could tell you what he is wearing.

Sometimes we just have to begin at the beginning. So start studying your partner again. Make note of the little things that we normally overlook- did they wish for that special item at the store? Stop and pick it up for them. Make them their favorite meal or dessert. Pick up your dirty socks that you leave by the side of your bed every single day… (nobody here does that- but if you do) Do those things that you know would really please your spouse. If you commit to making this a habit in your marriage, you will find that BOTH of you will reap great rewards in your relationship.

Photo Via Pixabay

Recently I went out of my way to grab a coffee for Ryan. Nothing expensive, just his usual iced coffee with a little caramel. I drove to where he was and asked him to run out to my car. When he rounded the corner I held up the coffee and blew him a kiss. He looked at me in the midst of his crazy day and said “man I freaking love you”. And ya know what? I freaking love him too. I really didn’t have time to grab him that coffee but I am so glad I did. Sometimes the little things really do make the biggest difference. And guys, don’t wait on your partner to start. You be the one today that makes the difference. Buy the coffee, pick up the socks, leave the note, do the thing… and don’t stop. Little changes today can reap great rewards tomorrow.

Scripture Reference:

Galations 5:13- You my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather serve one another humbly in love.

Philippians 2:4– not looking to your own interests but each of you tothe interests of the others.

Prayer:

Lord, you are the greatest servant of all time. Thank you for showing us how important it is to serve and care for our spouse. Help us to better notice those things that will please our partner and to act in those areas. Show us how to set aside our own desires to meet our partner’s needs. Help us to see the benefit of studying our partner and learning what it means to treat them the way that you would. Thank you Jesus for being an amazing example to us, help us to strive today to be that same great example to our children and family as well. In Jesus name, Amen.

Share this:

  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
Like Loading...

Marriage Monday- It’s Time to Start Dating Again!

14 Monday Oct 2019

Posted by Nicole Schrader in marriage

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Dating, faith, family, help, home, hope, Jesus, marriage, married, wedding

When we got married, my husband would still ask me on dates. I thought it was silly. Why should I date him when I’m married to him? 

Then one day I realized something. We have to be intentional with our marriages and dating couples should not be having more fun than us old married folk. Seriously! 

Photo Via Pixabay

The thing is – dating couples ARE intentional. When you were dating you went to dinner, the movies, on picnics, or to a local coffee shop. The point is, you found ways to have fun together. Once married we stop doing this. I mean why do I need to put my effort into planning time away with my partner when I live with them?  Planning goes out the window and life settles in.

What I found out was that daily life has a way of causing us to forget all the great things we love about each other. My husband is the most hilarious person I have ever met, but when I am cleaning the toilet, I am not thinking about his humor, I’m thinking about how much I wish ALL the men in my house would more carefully aim.

Photo Via Pixabay

And we are both huge talkers. We can talk for hours, laugh for days, and really cover a million topics in a matter of minutes. The thing is, we don’t do that as often as we used to because there are lunches to pack and bills to pay. We come home and we begin running around the house “trying to get things done” just so we can be ready for the next crazy day.

When we were dating, we talked on the phone for hours, we found any excuse to be together, went out of our way to please each other and gave up other things just to have some fun together.

Who has time for that these days?

It’s time we make time and here’s how we do that in the midst of the busy life we have today.

Twice a month my husband and I have a “date night” that works both as a time to reconnect as well as a time to cross some household items off the list. Dinner is a must for our date night, then we leave the rest open a bit. Usually we end up at the grocery store to grab what we need for the week ahead. I know, us crazy kids… The thing is we look so forward to this night because we try different restaurants and we take our time with dinner. This is an opportunity to reconnect, regroup, and release any of the stress of the last couple weeks. Some nights we do go to the movies, or out for ice cream, but the point is, this is a time for us to be us again. (and the grocery store is just a side note for us- we are in town, don’t want to go back to town, so we quickly get what we need- for us it’s a win win.)

Photo Via Pixabay

At least once a year we go away for a couple days, just the two of us. We love our trips to the wineries, we love heading to the city for a show, we love finding a nice place to stay and sleeping in and letting someone else clean the toilet for a change.

You married your spouse for a reason. Stay married for a reason. Remember the things you used to do that kept you excited to be together and start doing them again. And if money is tight, then find ways to be together that won’t cost a lot. When my husband and I started planning these dates, we literally kept an envelope of money that we would put a few extra dollars in anytime we could and when it added up to be enough to head out- we did. When there was no extra money, we took a long walk, found some free event happening near us or just had the grandparents watch the kids so we could sit on the back porch with a good cup of coffee and just be together for a bit. The point is we made time for each other.

Photo Via Pixabay

This week- We challenge you to be creative and ask your spouse on a date. Make it fun, make it something you both like to do, bring back an old memory that you shared. But no matter what you choose, let this be a night where you commit to just having a good time. Problems can be dealt with later and chores will still be there. For one night, just be you again.

 Laugh, eat, hold hands, and talk. It’s amazing how one night of fun can wash away days of stress and anxiety. Start dating again- it’s a great thing.

Scripture Reference:

Proverbs 17:22– A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Prayer:

Lord, today let us learn to have fun again. Remind us to have a cheerful heart and to remember to be just as intentional today with our relationships as we were in the beginning. Help us to see the importance of enjoying our time together and making fun a priority. In Jesus name, Amen.

Share this:

  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
Like Loading...

Marriage Monday- 2 Simple Keys of Communication

07 Monday Oct 2019

Posted by Nicole Schrader in marriage

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

communication, faith, help, hope, Jesus, marriage, married, truth, wedding

1. We have to watch our words.

Our words have power. They build up or they tear down. How we talk to and about our spouse will literally change the course of our relationship. Do we feel like speaking negatively at times? Sure, but that does not ever mean that we should.

Listen, the truth is- what comes out of our mouth is still a choice regardless of what the other person does or says. By changing what we say, we also change what we concentrate on. As we speak positively about our spouse to others, we start to appreciate the positive aspects of our spouse even more. By speaking kind words to each other we will find that our relationships will begin to improve as well.

Photo Via Pixabay

The reality is, even apart from marriage it’s just a truth that if you improve your words in a situation it always equals an improved attitude, which always moves us in a positive direction. So if this concept works outside of marriage, why wouldn’t it work inside our marriage as well?

2. We have to learn to listen

My husband and I are really great with words. We both have big opinions and ideas, and we like sharing them with each other. (good and bad) But to be honest, we struggle with listening to each other and since we both know that we are right, it’s hard to sit back and listen. I mean why waste the time listening when we can get right to “my” point and be done.

Anyone else struggle here?

Photo Via Pixabay

The thing is, most people need to be heard to feel cared about. If I don’t give my partner the chance to voice their own hopes, joys, ideas, concerns, irritations, and issues then I’ve ultimately told them that they don’t matter and I don’t care.

Harsh? Maybe, but full of truth too.

It’s time we sat down and allowed our spouse to talk, and I mean- really talk. It’s time to listen even when we don’t want to and especially when we don’t like what we are hearing. It’s just plain time. We need to let our spouses know that what they think matters and that even if we don’t agree with them, we still love them enough to hear them out.

Scripture Reference:

Ephesians 4:29- Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

James 1:19 – My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…

Prayer:

Dear Lord, We realize that our words have power. We ask your forgiveness for using words over our spouse that may have hurt them. Today we recommit to use our words to build our spouse up not only in our home but to those outside our home as well. We ask that you convict us of any unhealthy words that we are speaking and help us to do a better job of encouraging and loving our spouse with our words. We also ask you to help us listen to each other in a way that allows us to show love and respect to our spouse.

Thank you Jesus, Amen.

Share this:

  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
Like Loading...

My Marriage & Yours

25 Wednesday Sep 2019

Posted by Nicole Schrader in marriage

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

anniversary, faith, family, help, hope, inspiration, marriage, wedding

 “I love you. You annoy me more than I ever thought possible, but I want to spend every irritating minute with you.”

  This is the message that my husband sent me on a random Wednesday morning just a few weeks ago. 

It’s apparent that he could use some work on his skills with the ladies, but after all these years I already knew that. (jk) (well sorta).

Photo Via Pixabay

Today is our anniversary and I have to say this sums up our marriage pretty perfectly. And yes, I do plan to irritate him every single minute of the day for the rest of his life- especially now that I know how much he loves it. 

Photo Via Pixabay

Seriously though, marriage can be super annoying, and fun, and frustrating, and full of so many different challenges and joys in life. It’s a chance to laugh together, cry together, and work through some of the best and worst of ourselves.

I frequently tell my husband that at this point, whether he wants to or not, he has seen far to much of my “worst” so he can never leave.

As much as I hope you know that I’m joking, I also really mean it. Listen, we all have those moments we’d like to forget and being married often means there’s a witness to our crazy.

Photo Via Pixabay

I love posting about the great days and putting the biggest smiles on social media but as for the skeletons in my closet, those need to stay locked up tightly.

A few years ago my husband and I were asked to lead a marriage conference. It was some of the hardest work we have ever done. I personally had no idea how writing, speaking, and planning together would cause us to really re-evaluate our own relationship. Now, if you’ve read this blog for long, you fully realize that we are not experts. However, you also know that life and all its challenges often causes us to grow and learn and change in ways we never thought we could.

And that’s what we have to give.

The tidbits we have learned over the years have taken us from that immature, selfish, ridiculous young couple to having a much more content, happy, and most of the time skeleton free life.

So that being said and in honor of our anniversary we have decided to share some of those tidbits with you. Each week we will post a little excerpt from the teaching we did and hopefully you will gain some great grains of wisdom for your own relationship.

Photo Via Pixabay

So, Happy Anniversary sweetheart, here’s to helping other couples irritate each other in the happiest way possible for the rest of their lives too.

See ya next week.

Share this:

  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
Like Loading...

Our Journey Back to Health: It’s been a while!

05 Thursday Sep 2019

Posted by Nicole Schrader in Personal Growth

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

encouragement, happy, health, healthy, help, hope, Jesus, Lifestyle, There is hope!, You are worth it!, You can do it!

As summer has come and gone life has gotten extremely busy. We started off this summer by going on a cruise. Oh what a wonderful trip it was. We relaxed, we played hard, we enjoyed time with friends, and we ate. If you have ever been on a cruise then you know how easy it is to go way overboard with meals… and snacks… and buffets.

Our view from the ship.

I’m not going to lie. We loved every single minute of it and when we came back from the cruise we jumped right back into our healthy eating plan and all was going so well. I have to be honest, I was even a bit smug about it to myself. NOT GOOD.

Pride comes before the fall.

I admit I’m laughing while I type this because soon after my smug little attitude had me feeling like I had this whole healthy lifestyle thing in the bag, I took another trip. An amazing trip that was filled with family, food and tons of fun. Did I mention the food?  I ate at some really great restaurants, experienced some of the most amazing food trucks, and really just ate myself to utter bliss.

Delicious…

Honestly I don’t think that my couple weeks of gluttony really were the problem. After both of my trips, I came home and got back to business and began to eat right again. BUT, and it’s a big BUT (pun slightly intended) when I came home from the second trip, I started slipping back into my old ways. I ate good, then not so good, then good again. The scale wasn’t moving a ton and I wasn’t very concerned about it. My husband was also slipping so we weren’t holding each other accountable like we had in the past either. (I guess this is all his fault then right?)

Finally we began talking about getting back on our plan. We talked a lot. We would tell each other that after this next picnic we would get serious about it again. I never realized how many next picnics there are in one single summer.

Sooooooo good.

Do you know how fast the weeks fly when you’re making excuses?

Finally, we sat down and came up with a date and stuck to it and I’m so glad we did. Now I’m going to be completely honest with you- the thing that really made us realize how much we missed eating better was how we were beginning to feel. The weight loss was nice, but how we felt was so much better. By the end of a summer of bad food choices, all that extra energy was starting to diminish. I noticed that I was weighed down, tired, my stomach was off, I just wasn’t feeling like myself and neither was my husband.

We’ve been back on our healthy plan now for a couple weeks and I can’t believe the difference. Why did we ever go backwards in the first place?  As for a quick update- when summer started both my husband and I had lost approximately 23 pounds. As fall quickly approaches we have both gained back around 7 pounds. What I realize is this- we didn’t ruin what we started. We just had a setback.

It’s a long road but we will get there in the end.

Lesson learned.

Can we have a vacation and let loose a bit?  SURE. But there has to be accountability too. Our choices today really do affect our tomorrow and we need to not lose sight of that. I’m also very proud to say that those pounds didn’t upset me in the least. They are a reflection of some not so great choices but they are not any indication that our goals will not be met. In fact, they are motivation for me to get back on the wagon and start again. I’m making progress in this journey even if I take a wrong turn from time to time. You can do the same. Don’t give up, don’t give in, just keep going. Sometimes the journey is more important than the results at the end anyway.

Share this:

  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
Like Loading...

Our Journey Back To Health- Don’t Isolate Yourself

10 Wednesday Apr 2019

Posted by Nicole Schrader in Personal Growth

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

friendship, health, help, hope, Jesus, strength, weightloss

One of the things I’ve learned on this journey to health is that trying to do this alone is not very effective. To be honest I don’t like to rely on people. I don’t like vulnerability or sharing my insecurities and I don’t think I’m alone in those feelings. When I began writing this blog I argued with God over every single post. I worried about being judged and critiqued by those I care about because believe me, no one wants to take the skeletons out of that neatly packaged closet.

Photo Via Pixabay

Oh but when we do.

When we admit the truth to the journey; when we admit more than the outcome and we share the struggles and the bruises along the way we find healing for more than ourselves. Instead we share our healing with the world around us. 

One of the things I love most about reading the bible is that when I do I find a group of people who the world would most certainly consider failures. Yet in the very midst of their mess they become world changers under the guidance, love, and forgiveness of our God. Imperfect people putting their lives out there for Christ, that’s exactly who I want us to be. Those who are scared, worried, stressed and even vulnerable- we all become powerful in the hands of Christ. What I also noticed is that none of those people did it alone. They needed Jesus and they most definitely needed each other and whether we want to admit it or not we do too.

Photo Via Pixabay

It’s not easy allowing others to see those damaged areas of our lives or asking for help when we feel down or are struggling, but if we just let people glimpse the pain then maybe we can all prevail together. Let’s all be honest for a minute. If Jesus did not walk this world alone then how do we expect to? He relied on God and spent time opening his heart to man. He talked with people about their struggles, he prayed, he was let down, he forgave, and he moved forward. Shouldn’t that be the blueprint of our life too? We spend so much time protecting ourselves from the possible pain that opening up might bring that we miss the joy that comes when we decide to finally come out of hiding.

Open up today. Talk to those around you, begin to trust again. Let your life be a beacon of hope instead of a perfectly wrapped package that feels empty inside. When we open up and let others into our situations we fill that gift with all the best things. Hope, endurance, trust, overcoming, friendship and so much more. Will we be let down at times?  Sure, but is that a reason to isolate ourselves? An excuse maybe but not a reason.

Never a reason.

Photo Via Pixabay

There is power in our time spent with others. Matthew 18:19 says 19 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. Deuteronomy 32:30 says 30 How could one chase a thousand, And two put ten thousand to flight,” … Isn’t it amazing how much stronger and more effective we are when we join together?  Listen, life is hard enough, why not help each other carry the burdens rather than watch each other struggle through the heavy stuff. I think this verse in Ecclesiastes sums it all up perfectly.

4:9-12 (ESV)’Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

Photo Via Pixabay

How many times have you needed lifting up? How many times have you been desperate for someone to stand with you, but you haven’t reached out? What I’m finding is this- When I try to be strong on my own I tend to fall short, but when I rely on others and have people relying on me, I become stronger than I ever imagined I could be on my own.

Find someone to stand with you today. Follow Jesus’s example and surround yourself with people who will help you carry the burden and not heap added weight onto your shoulders. It just may make all the difference.

Photo Via Pixabay

It’s time for a little update on our Journey- at this point we are almost 3 months in and I have more energy than I have had in a long time and so does my husband. In fact, Ryan has had a lot less pain in his legs and feet as well. We are still eating as clean as we can and are honestly not craving sugar and processed carbs like we used to. I’m finding new foods that we both love and right before my son left for boot camp he told me that he was loving our new meals. That’s a compliment in itself. Who said eating healthy had to be boring? As for the scale, it’s still coming down. Ryan has lost a total of 18 pounds and I have lost 16. Our clothes are fitting so much better, Ryan has had to move some holes on his belt and I am starting to look for some smaller sizes. And this morning while we were getting around Ryan looked at me and he said the best part is that we CAN keep this up. It’s something we can easily live and not just do for a time. I think finding something that is manageable long term has been one of the most important lessons for us. If you are on this journey today or even thinking about starting a journey for your health too then this is something to consider. Don’t look for a quick fix, don’t find a short term solution to a long term problem. The easy road never leads to lasting change. Instead, be realistic and start with some small changes that can be maintained over time. And don’t try to do everything alone because the truth is we need each other and the best results happen when we have someone beside us along the way.

(As a side note before you begin any plan consult your doctor and be sure that it is the best fit for you.)

Share this:

  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
Like Loading...

Letting Go When You Want To Hold On.

03 Sunday Mar 2019

Posted by Nicole Schrader in Kids and Family

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

help, hope, Jesus, kids, letting go, life, seasons

I didn’t realize that letting go would hurt this much. Sure I knew that time would fly and that in the blink of an eye my sweet babies would be all grown up and moving on in this world. I knew that. I held on tight. I made a point to snuggle as much as I could, to read stories, and have family nights.  I made a point to enjoy every minute. I did all that and it still went by far too fast. I still want just one more day.

 I’ll always want one more.

Photo Via Pixabay

Many years ago on a family vacation to the beach, we passed a cute little street of shops that I really wanted to check out, but after a long day of sandcastles and waves my family was just too tired to join me, all except Zach. He and I headed out and shopped that day. We checked out the souvenir shops, we looked at t-shirts and stuffed animals, seashells, and salt water taffy, then we decided an ice cream break was in order.  We sat at a cute little outdoor table and enjoyed a sundae that was far too big for the little guy that he was and we talked. We talked and talked and talked. Zach and I are both gifted in that art. Now I don’t remember anything we talked about, but I do very clearly remember this- after all the days at the beach, the aquariums we visited, and the adventures we had- I asked the kids what they liked best.  “The ice cream” Zach replied.

Ice cream.

Hours from home, new experiences, and long fun days and it all came down to ice cream. I learned something that day that I will never forget. It isn’t the big things in life that really matter. Instead, it’s the tiniest of moments that come together to make life sweet. It’s laughing around the kitchen table, watching family movies, coloring outside the lines and giggling at inside jokes no one else would understand.

That little boy boarded a plane today. He is flying across the country to join our amazing military. He towers over me now, and I am more proud than I ever imagined possible.  The problem is I struggle not to see the little boy with ice cream all over his face.

Me letting go but wanting to hold on.
Photo credits to my husband on this one.

 I struggle letting go.

Gretchen Rubin says that “The days are long but the years are short.” Oh how right she is. My oldest son and his wife gave birth to their first little boy just a few short months ago. It’s funny how life comes full circle. I watched as one boarded a plane and the other held tight to a brand new life. What a reminder of the blessings each season has to offer.

I realized something else today too. I realized that this new season that is so uncomfortable in the process- will hold the same tremendous hope that the last one did. I know that in time I’ll want this new season to last forever too.  There is so much good mixed in with the tears.

I still have one more son at home with me and he is terrified. He too has realized something in all this.  He knows that he is the last of my babies and that his mom needs something to hold onto.   She needs someone to “mother”. He’s terrified that he will get ALL the mothering that I have to offer and to be honest he’s probably right. So please pray for him he’s going to need it.

If you are struggling with letting go today. I want you to know that you are not alone. We will get through this and we will look back and rejoice at all this new season has to offer, but in the process- if a few tears are necessary, that’s okay too.

Share this:

  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
Like Loading...
← Older posts
Newer posts →
valentines pic1
Wife. Mom of three. Passionate lover of Jesus. Teacher. Writer. Speaker. Encourager. Believer in Hope.
I want to leave a legacy. I fail, I disappoint, but I hang on for dear life. My goal is to never, ever, not even for a second, give up. I hope this blog will inspire you to do the same.

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Follow on WordPress.com

Recent Posts

  • And There Is Heartache
  • Life Is Sweet.
  • I Raise a Hallelujah
  • Christmas- Cookies, Gifts, Trees & STRESS. What Does It All Really Mean?
  • God and Gut Punches

Recent Comments

Marian MacNett's avatarMarian MacNett on And There Is Heartache
Valerie MacDougall's avatarValerie MacDougall on And There Is Heartache
Tammy lewis's avatarTammy lewis on And There Is Heartache
Barb Tice's avatarBarb Tice on And There Is Heartache
Erin U.'s avatarErin U. on And There Is Heartache

Archives

  • February 2023
  • December 2022
  • September 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • December 2017
  • September 2017
  • December 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015

Categories

  • encouragement
  • Kids and Family
  • marriage
  • Personal Growth
  • Uncategorized

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 131 other subscribers

Recent Posts

  • And There Is Heartache
  • Life Is Sweet.
  • I Raise a Hallelujah
  • Christmas- Cookies, Gifts, Trees & STRESS. What Does It All Really Mean?
  • God and Gut Punches

Recent Comments

Marian MacNett's avatarMarian MacNett on And There Is Heartache
Valerie MacDougall's avatarValerie MacDougall on And There Is Heartache
Tammy lewis's avatarTammy lewis on And There Is Heartache
Barb Tice's avatarBarb Tice on And There Is Heartache
Erin U.'s avatarErin U. on And There Is Heartache

Archives

  • February 2023
  • December 2022
  • September 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • December 2017
  • September 2017
  • December 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015

Recent Posts

  • And There Is Heartache
  • Life Is Sweet.
  • I Raise a Hallelujah
  • Christmas- Cookies, Gifts, Trees & STRESS. What Does It All Really Mean?
  • God and Gut Punches

Recent Comments

Marian MacNett's avatarMarian MacNett on And There Is Heartache
Valerie MacDougall's avatarValerie MacDougall on And There Is Heartache
Tammy lewis's avatarTammy lewis on And There Is Heartache
Barb Tice's avatarBarb Tice on And There Is Heartache
Erin U.'s avatarErin U. on And There Is Heartache

Archives

  • February 2023
  • December 2022
  • September 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • December 2017
  • September 2017
  • December 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015

Blog at WordPress.com.

  • Subscribe Subscribed
    • crazystupidlife.org
    • Join 131 other subscribers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • crazystupidlife.org
    • Subscribe Subscribed
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...
 

    %d