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And There Is Heartache

13 Monday Feb 2023

Posted by Nicole Schrader in encouragement, Uncategorized

≈ 11 Comments

Tags

faith, friendship, grief, heartbreak, hope, Jesus, Loss, pain

Today was the absolute hardest day of my teaching career. I didn’t want to come to work today. I didn’t really want to get out of bed.  

For those of you who will read this from outside our precious community I’ll explain briefly. We lost a dear friend to a tragic car accident over the weekend. A friend who truly cared about those around her. A friend who loved deeply and meant what she said. A friend who supported, fought for, and stayed true to her beliefs. A fellow teacher who made those around her feel cared about every single day.  

I did get out of bed and I did walk into that building.  

I watched as people struggled to breathe, struggled to take a step forward, and fought for every single minute. 

I watched as people hugged. I watched as students cried. I watched as community members dropped off coffee and hot chocolate and flowers while staff members took care of each other.  

I watched as broken hearts broke even more and the shock wore off and the reality began to sink in. I watched as people tried to navigate the unthinkable all while handling the fragile hearts of the most precious little ones who came in hurt and confused.  

In my profession there are days when we come in to work and we are given the name of a student and told to “handle with care”. This means we are not to ask any questions, we are just to know that that particular little one is going through something serious and we are to take a bit more time and have heaps more patience and love. 

Today we all needed to be handled with care. I think we will need it again tomorrow and a month from now out of the blue we will need it again.  

Life is unpredictable, it is downright unfair at times, and cruel to the core.  

But it is a few other things as well. It is a hug that shares grief in the darkest of times. It is a cup of coffee you enjoy with tears running down your face. It is the text message from your son that just wants you to know that you are loved and appreciated because they know how hard today will be. It is watching life rush past you while every part of your being wants it to slow down and let you catch your breath.  

It is hope.  

It is love.  

It is uncertain, unkind, beautiful, and blessed. It is all those things and so much more.  

I’m thankful for all of it. I’m thankful that I got the chance to love even if it means heartache gets mixed in.  

I don’t want to miss a chance to tell you too- I love you. Today and forever.  

She used to read this blog. She encouraged me to write and let me know how much she was touched by my words. So dear friend, this one’s for you. The world was a better place with you in it.  

Psalm 34:18- The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

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God and Gut Punches

13 Monday Dec 2021

Posted by Nicole Schrader in encouragement, Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

faith, God, help, hope, hurt, Jesus, Loss, overcoming, pain

What a long week. I have to be honest, guys I’m exhausted. As I sit here writing tonight, I admit that at one point this week I got on social media to get away from it all. You know how it is. I just wanted some mindless scrolling. I wanted to look at people’s family pictures and see what they had for dinner. I was planning to ignore the political posts and opinion pieces; I just wanted a break. As I scrolled though, the opposite happened. I found that a really kind hearted soul had passed away. I saw that some terrible tragedies had occurred, and some dear friends were struggling. I searched for hope, I searched for some positivity but the heaviness of the world just wouldn’t budge.  

Artwork, Colorful, Art, Flowers, Vase
Photo Via Pixabay

I immediately texted my husband and told him that I really needed to hear his voice. I just needed one minute of him telling me all the things I already knew; that God is still in control, that someday all our tears will be wiped away and that today it’s ok to feel the pain and stand in faith, even if we don’t understand.  

And I did not understand.  

I guess we all get too that place don’t we? 

I was reminded that when life hits like this we have two choices to make- we can either run to God or away from Him. We can either get bitter or get better. Faith was never meant to be easy, but man is it powerful.  

As Friday finally arrived, I finished my work day and called home. My husband answered right away. (He had a vacation day to shop with his mom which is one of his favorite Christmas traditions) He said “Listen, I want you to hurry home. I have a hotel room ready to book and a bag packed, we are going to a Christmas concert tonight.” I argued that we shouldn’t stay over, that it was only an hour and a half away and although it would be great to go, maybe we should drive home late that night. I’m so glad he stopped me and said Nicole this is going to be amazing and I want a night away with you. (I always know when he’s serious because nicknames are thrown out the window.)

I threw cloths in a bag, and got in the car.  

Guys, I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. I hesitate to even open up my email right now, but I do know who holds my tomorrow, and if there is anything I’ve learned it’s that when your husband says get in the car I want to spend time with you… you get in the car. Tomorrow isn’t promised and today- well, we have to make the best of it and love on those we care so deeply about.  

And that concert. It was REALLY awesome. We sang Christmas carols, listened to incredible music, and were encouraged by who God is and what He has done for us.  

I needed the reminder.  

Now I’d like to say that when I got home things just felt better, that everything fell into place, but the truth is our hurts and hard times don’t just go away and getting home brought a whole new series of gut punches.  

What I can say is this- I don’t regret our little spur of the moment get-away, and I don’t regret the few moments of peace I had in the midst of a very stressful week.  

Guys, I don’t know what is happening in your life today. I don’t know if you’ve had an awesome week with your family or if you’ve been blindsided by life like I have. What I do know is this, life is unpredictable and when we have a chance to love- we better do it with all our hearts. We need to appreciate the little things and learn to brush off the dust. We need to fight for what matters and put life in perspective.  

I really don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I do know that each and every day is a gift and we should hold tight to the people and moments that really matter.  

I thank God for moments like these.

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Wife. Mom of three. Passionate lover of Jesus. Teacher. Writer. Speaker. Encourager. Believer in Hope.
I want to leave a legacy. I fail, I disappoint, but I hang on for dear life. My goal is to never, ever, not even for a second, give up. I hope this blog will inspire you to do the same.

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  • God and Gut Punches

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  • Life Is Sweet.
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  • Christmas- Cookies, Gifts, Trees & STRESS. What Does It All Really Mean?
  • God and Gut Punches

Recent Comments

Marian MacNett's avatarMarian MacNett on And There Is Heartache
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